Hypocrite is a word that I am prepared to have bandied around at me as I make it quite clear how much I hate Big Brother 134 – last night when the latest yawningly long series came to it’s undoubtedly hysterical conclusion I raised a glass of absinthe and thought. Thank **** for that. Too many hours on terrestrial TV taken up with the sort of scenes you can witness up Lothian Road on a Saturday night. The young self-obsessed wannabes in an enclosure for the bored public to gaze upon. Next year just round them up, stuff them in a horse box and take them round the shows. The Highland Show Big Brother tent – animals with two legs.
So here comes the hypocrisy. I love the X factor. On Saturday night as I was out having a life my inner self wanted to rush home and watch the first episode but I held off knowing the moment when I could lie on the couch,with remote revelling in the X Factor and all it’s glory would be mine for the taking. Seeing what Cheryl is wearing, finding Simon strangely attractive and wondering when Louis is going to come out, as a Leprechaun is golden time. Add to that the ability to fast forward through the ads * which allows the momentum of bitchery and camp emotion to rise to a crescendo.
So the rumour Sharon Osbourne is coming back as Louis’s helper to decide who goes through to his boot camp fills me with joy. I love her. I love her candour, her surgically enhanced smile, her wit and the fact she will make Louis seem like a Primary 1 child who needs to go to the loo but is afraid to put his hand up and ask the teacher so chooses to wet his pants instead will make it must see TV.
Add to that the fact when being interviewed on Piers Morgan’s chat show if she and Danni hate each other – the ill disguised answer was YES. More under currents of bitchery and back stage disgruntlement ahoy.
Mind you Sharon don’t piss Cheryl off – she was done for allegedly whapping some woman with her handbag years ago – in fact she looked like she might give Geri Halliwell the benefit of her handbag on Saturday night when she wouldn’t shut up, God she just went on and on and on and on …..Cheryl and Sharon cut from the same cloth I reckon this is gonna be great.
Saturday nights alright for fighting not just a song, a way of life. Bring it on.
(*stats today show over 80% of viewers don’t watch the ads – if you see a white faced troll wandering aimlessly it will the boss of the local ad agency – this is not good news for the industry – they should advertise on blogs like this one then shouldn’t they?)