Great British Painting Challenge.

by AlisonsDiary on Sunday 1st Mar 2015

in Day-to-day

Great.

Love it.

The judges are harsh but honest.

The presenter – Richard Bacon – has it really taken this long to forgive his early misdemeanour and invite him onto National TV?  Bright, intelligent and great to have back on our screens.  (I miss his Radio 5 live show so much I can’t listen to the station anymore)– but ….and this the point Una Stubbs?
She is a sassy, great looking woman so what on earth is going on? Unknown-1

She looks as if she has meandered from Call The Midwifes set? Tiny wee woman, swathed in hospital blue, large blouson long engulfing smock. Tiny tiny feet – can they really keep her upright those alleged real feet poking out from the hem of the voluminous tent?   Add to that, the cartoon round glasses and big owl like magnified eyes.

Gas and air.

With the top toeing and whispering going on I will need an epidural to watch the rest of the series…..

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Charlie Chorizo – sausage of love.

by AlisonsDiary on Tuesday 23rd Dec 2014

in Day-to-day,Diary,Meet The Family

FtkyaAgRNTW_3bOnoSS5Z_0UQCIwifEn5T_Cl3ZPcgECharlie Chorizo has arrived. A sausage dog. The sausage dog. The ruler of our days. And nights.

Some may think it a little early after the demise of our dear old souls who were wafted off to doggy heaven just few weeks ago. But me without a dog is like Judith Chalmers without a passport, like Russell Brand without a lascivious look in his eye. Even as a child, a student, a scurrilous traveller I have never been without the companionship of a quadroped. In addition I have never had a pedigree chum. Ever. They have aye been scrappy wee unloved individuals from cat & dog homes, the side of the road, a drain, Battersea, Aberdeen, Edinburgh so at this stage in life as I intend to travel by car a lot all round the world I have employed the services of a wirehaired mini dachshund to be my faithful sidecar rider. I need a compact bijou pal and so I thought I will wait until next year before I take the plunge.

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Fate took over as that very day I met a hairy wee scruff called Snook in Aberdeen a stoating wee dog. The next question was where did he come from? The answer was the name of a breeder who I phoned several times and had no answer. Then last Sunday she picked up.

We talked.
“I have one 9 week old “ she said.

“I want a bitch” I replied. Birds of a feather and all that.

“Daxy boys aren’t like normal dogs “she said “they are very loyal and affectionate – more so than the girls.”
Sceptical I asked her to send me a photo.

She did.

On impact of course the heart began to beat a little faster.

A little chocolate drop. Tiny.

“Let’s will drive over and see him and have a chat.” I said to the long suffering husband.

“Of course if we go we will end up with him” he said rolling his eyeballs.

“Not necessarily” I said sounding as convincing as I could.

So we arrived into the home of 14 daxys. They were barking and jumping and squirming. “Quiet” the breeder shouted and they all stood silent watching us with their raisin like direct stares. “Lets hope they don’t turn on us” I whispered under my breath to the LSH who unlike me has not been in the company of the dog breeder madness that we were witnessing. The fact is if I wasn’t married I would like have at least 14 dogs and a few pigs but I chose not to impart that information at this particular moment.
“That’s the Dad” Elizabeth the breeder said pointing at this titian haired beezer. “He’s French”.

Now I am no dog show judge but he was a noble hairy faced wee man.

“That’s the Mum” she said showing me a hairy wee thing amongst the other yappers.

And there’s the pups she said pointing to the corner of the room where a small pen held two leaping pups.
One dog. One bitch. One heart lost. Mine.

CC Snuggle

I picked him up. He’s so tiny. And he’s not got any wire hair.

“His fixings are coming in” she said pointing out the small moustache that was growing under each eye. He was a wee bit shy unlike the girl who was running up the leg of my trousers and pushing him out of the way.

We talked about it and as Dave and I looked at each other we knew.

We would like to take him home.

And so…the new adventure begins with Charlie Chorizo Sausage Dog. He is so small if we cut the end of a sock he could wear it as a coat. That’s what I am going to do as he not over endowed with hair yet and clearly the Scottish winter is a hell of a time to arrive in the world. I will write about him again and display my new sock invention coat….but for now……he is sitting on my foot, demanding he is picked up for a cuddle. Hell someone’s got to it. Swoon.

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Menopausal munching for Xmas

by AlisonsDiary on Thursday 4th Dec 2014

in Day-to-day,Diary

UnknownI have just consumed an entire Thomas The tank engine advent calendar I had bought for a friends son.

25 wee bits of shiny not very chocolatey chocolate – pop, gulp,  pop, gulp, pop, gulp , pop, gulp, pop x 25. All gone.
Well I need some comfort I have lost my voice.
A joy for my friends and family but a nightmare for me – the shouty one.

Some bright spark said go to bed and sleep until you feel better. I tried that but I can’t sleep.

I have been reliably informed that one of the side effects of the menopause – yes boys read the words and cringe – is ye cannae sleep.

If I can’t sleep. I must eat.

Lots.

Which I do and if I pause for too long

I become particularly grumpy.

Probably because my belly expands daily because I cant stop eating.

Because I’m not sleeping.

And lets face it  – comfort comes in the shape of chocolate, cheese , rum & coke. Not necessarily all in the same glass but hey ho never say never.

Hell maybe it’s just me.

The fact is I am a health freak in a dysfunctional middle aged womans body.

There.

Spleen vented I’m off for another Advent calendar.

Peppa Pig where are you?

 

Unknown-1

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Heartbreak on 8 legs.

14 November 2014

Desperate sadness surrounds this blog post and the person writing it. My dear hairy friends, stalwart supporters, companions through thick and thin are no longer on this mortal coil. Flora half haggis half womble and Sam nice but dim Labrador are gone. The knowledge of adopting and loving and animal is one thing but the […]

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Ebola. A question.

14 October 2014

I am not getting hysterical about EBOLA. Someone posted a brilliant statistic about the number of people who are killed by flu every year in comparison which put it all into perspective and as this article states brilliantly – it’s not all about us – at least it shouldn’t be. Brilliant article here. BUT Yup […]

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The Referendumb

17 September 2014

Fits happenin’ min? It’s a’ gone mad. As Maw says ‘AYE’ and ‘NAW’ shouts Dad. The kids are rippin’ doon the banners Abody’s forgotten a’ their manners Mind on Friday we’re a’ still Scots Indy or no’ we’re still the tops So gather roon’ embrace yer kin We’re in it the gither thick or thin. […]

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Massage – no not that sort. Oh well I hope not.

23 August 2014

Right have a hump and lump and a general snarl about me today off for a Thai massage I will report back. According to the long suffering one I am being very annoying. Not as annoying as YOU. I retorted. See? he puffed. Slam I went.   Out the door. Now let’s see…..   Ohhmmmmmm..

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MUST LOVE DOGS

17 July 2014

  Dog lovers of the world unite. Have you heard of this fabulous new website BorrowMyDoggy.com It is for the time-poor dog owner, for the lively and always ready for a walk dog and for the dog lover who cannot have a dog of their own for whatever the reason ….be it landlords rules, work […]

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Dog tired -the man not the dog.

13 June 2014

As a follow up to my column in The Daily Record  about our dear old dog Sam….. Here is the photo that sort of sums up her feelings when my dear long suffering husband flew back from Spain to Scotland psyching himself up to accompany her to the vet for the dreaded euthanasia. You can […]

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Nicole Kidman gets it in the wrinkle free neck.

16 May 2014

You know we can’t win. Us women. I read in the papers yesterday Nicole Kidman had a “a puffy look and an eyebrow shape that goes up which proves she uses botox”. So what would you do if you were in the glare of the public eye every day and night?   Shuffle about in […]

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