I’m a Celebrity I almost died.


Freddie Starr ate my hamster finally usurped by Freddie Starr ate a camels toe on national telly and almost died.


Yup….as i watched the arrival of the dafties on Sunday from the safety of my sofa with a gin in one hand a bowl of crisps in the other I wondered, as I do every year, em why?

I mean why would you?

Why would anyone?

The usual answer is well if your career is flagging you would.

Eh – no I wouldn’t.

Living under Tower Bridge, wrapped in old copies of Grazia would be preferable.

Can you recall who was there last year stuffing kangaroo testes into their mouths and being dangled over ravines in rusting cars waiting  to ram their heads into a tank full of squirming insects. Nope me neither.

Well that’s not true actually cos Stacy from the X factor is in the Iceland ads who sponsor the show but other than that. Not a clue.

So poor Freddie Starr has suffered an allergic reaction to something nasty. I expect we will have to wait until some poor desperate soul is taken out of there  in a wooden box before the show is axed.

Meanwhile the likes of me, on couches with gins will sit gawping at the dafties. Onward, downward and ginward we go.


Writer & broadcaster.

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