Food Diary of a hormonal hungover Scot

OK we know excess of any sort is bad for you. In fact it leads to more excess as I know only too well. So after a wild night on Saturday I decided the only way to retribution and truth was to take photos of everything I scoffed during thefollowing  day  in the hope that if the hangover didn’t put me off the badness then the hideous calorific intake might.

Here is the evidence.

I started well with my snout in the fridge with the discovery of the wilting celery. Reputedly great for the liver I bought this a week ago in the hope I would feel like a vegetable. Well I do feel like a vegetable but I don’t feel like eating any – it would be nigh on cannibalism. But I dug out the phallic juicer for its annual juice making.

Flapjack – a super quick flop up for the sugar deprived.Or is it depraved?
Cheese & ham pie with a blackbird in it (not real)

After the carbs – sugar was required so into Sue Lawrences book – Taste Ye Back to get the recipe for Mike Blairs – Scottish rugby player – Mum’s flapjacks. Mixed them as per recipe then added a couple of tablespoons of peanut butter. Oh God I can’t tell you how they good were. The only bad thing was we had to wait for 20 minutes until they came out of the oven. When they did Teenwolf fell upon them, my pal Gordon who popped in had about 5 and not wanting to be left out, so did I. Laying claim to the recipe now with our tweaks.

A guzzling gallon of water here and there, a cup of tea, a coffee, then a vitamin water. Who was I kidding? Still should have been an ample sufficieny? well it was until I found this in the freezer. Ye old white Magnum – something I can eat anytime. So in summary. The day after a wild night.

Vitamin water? Glow? Come on then let’s be having you.

There is evidence of inconsistency, healthy freakish juicing, chips, flapjacks, a pie, and some serious  magnum eating. With a vitamin water wo help wash down these groaningly large plates of food. So…a day spent baking, cooking & eating and I am still glowing with pride about that cheese and ham pie – come on admit it – it’s a beauty. Self congratulation is not an attractive trait but who cares.

Not my best photo – but I was gagging to get the wrapper off and scoff it

And you know saddest thing of all?  As I post these photos and write this blurb my tummy has commenced rumbling and I am fantasising about eating it all over again. Here we go, here we go, here we go……………


Writer & broadcaster.

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