Ode to Ronan the Rat – Boyzone.

Ronan Keating  – you great balloon.

Caught with your breeks nae up but doon                                       

Yer poor wife Yvonne is afa’ pit oot.      

Ye gormless shaggin’ hairy galoot.

Yer fans right now will think you’re a nit,  

A thoughtless, two-faced, over-sexed s**t.

But the sad and hard truth is of all of these folk  

You’re the poor sod who’ll be lonely (not broke)

But ye can’t cuddle money, you’ve blown it daft lad

 The chance to remain as a husband and dad                                                                                                     

It’s too late already to turn back the clock  

 You shouldn’t have listened to your best friend – your c***

You’re still in the Boyzone  as the mark of a man

Is to cherish his family not flush’em down the pan.

Less of the smiling please.

Ronan – you rat. You dirty rat. How could you? Why did you? Was that gentle smiling Irish lad a myth then? So it seems the twinkly eyed man who  lounged on couches playing Nintendo Brain Training games with his gorgeous wife  with their lovely wee kiddies gamboling around them was a hoodwinker. Now we know he’s a shagger we suspect him of keeping a glad eye on the Production Assistant or texting a slapper during the break in filming as his wife rushed off to feed the babbies. Aye. Ronan you rat.

 Young Ronan wedged himself into the consciousness of the masses with gentle love songs, written from the heart. His public displays of affection and devotion to his wife and kids were things that dreams were made of. And it was all horses***. Ah well. Ronan wasn’t built in a day but he could be destroyed in one.

Got that off my chest then.


Writer & broadcaster.

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