Hot weather – not so hot body.

This time last week we were wrapped in thermals – 2 deep. This week it’s 22.5 degrees and the Pilsbury Dough body has just been dug out and revealed. I would like to say a big thank you to those who didn’t scream, vomit and run away screaming as the pasty bingo wings made their annual foray into the light.

Pretty much the same shape as me

Lying flat out on the grass today, tentatively I rolled up the trouser legs .What lurked beneath was too horrific to continue so I  just rolled them down again and collapsed back to horizontal to regret the lapsed body beautiful campaign. This sumo suit was somethinig I ordered for Christmas a couple of years ago for a laugh. It now seems like a realistic sartorial choice to hide the reality of the hibernated Scottish body.

I like to believe if I lived in a hot country permanently I would be a honed beach bum as opposed to a bum with a face.  Sadly the reality of this Scot in summer 2010 is less  Elle MacPherson and more Archie MacPherson. Ach well. Off for a pint.


Writer & broadcaster.

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