Well it has finally happened.
Teenwolf Is learning to drive.
My baby is behind the wheel of a car ,
Bring on the vapours.
He is just 17 and it has been on his mind since he was …well…born actually.
So when he broke his arm 4 days short of his birthday in November I was very sad but confess as we waited for his plaster cast to set part of me did think …well at least he won’t be able to drive for a while.
No sooner is the plaster off than he is badgering me to take him out.
He wore me down so off we went. to the Murrayfield Stadium car park which is a vast area with not a soul around.
As I wemnt over the basics.
This is a car he rolled his eyes
That is the clutch I pointed at th clutch he rolled his eyes
That is the accelorator and the brake isin the middle.
It was as if I was talking to a man with over 25 years experience on the road. He couldn’t wait for me to shut up so I did.
As he turned the ignition on he put his foot down on the gas with such velocity we did a wheelie I am not sure who got more a shock, him, me, his ears or my bowel.
After a few steering grabs and screams
‘For gods sake Mum don’t scream at me ‘ he screamed at me.
‘Well it’s hard not to when you see your life flashing before you!’
‘Dad won’t be like this’;
“You’re right he will be worse’
So after going round about 25 times he got the hang of the clutch and the fact if you go round a corner at anything other than crawl you are likely to skid, topple or crash.
His first official lesson was the following day.
He was out there with a brave brave man called Stephen for 2 hours.
He drove from Crammond to Letih..
I was in shock when he told me
‘On the road?’ I asked
‘Yes where else ?’ the indignant response.
So not only have late night clubs and wild woman become a regular reason to wake up and worry now we can add the potential passing of the test and car napping my wee rustmobile to go cruising.
But I will not be foiled. I have a plan.
My options I outline below.
Make sure there is no petrol in the tank after all its flammable and therefore deemed dangerous.
Pay someone to steal it. (a joke ofifcer a joke)
Buy a bicycle ? Nope worse than a car.
I know what ! I’ll put on an eposide of Top Gear! One look at Clarkson should put him off for life. No he quite likes him – unbelievable really.
So we have come up with the ultimate deterrant. The long suffering husband and I are going to buy an Inspector Clouseau car to use as advertsiing for the restaurant and brand it up as a giant haggis….well maybe a raost haunch of venison – either way a teenager driving a themed tiny car around the streets of Edinburgh means he’ll be on shank’s pony for a wee while longer yet….