So who the hell do I think I am anyway?

30 comments

So for all my sins (of which there are many) I am a presenter, writer and columnist. Working from a radio studio at home with a dog asleep on my foot, in my dressing gown is my preferable state but enough of me me me .. here’s the interesting bits…

Teenwolf, the long suffering husband and I share our lives with the hairy horrors aka the dogs. As Teenwolf finds every excuse in the book not to talk to me I have promised him I will not post a photo of him here. it is a good bribery tool so I am adhering to the rule…..for now. There are various pics of the long suffering one, usually bearing gifts of food and drink so I will concentrate on the most photogenic members of the family.
A foolish dog lover it is unnatural how much I bloody love them.  But I do!
Cat & Dog home girl.

She has no legs, just feet and they are frozen in snowballs.

FLORA
Half dog, half womble. Short of leg and big on personality. Came from Edinburgh Cat & Dog home 8 years ago. Found bald, starving & wandering the streets. She runs the house. She does. She is clearly a terrier of some sort and I call her my terrorist as the girl has attitude.  When I come in, I put my hands down on the floor and she rolls onto them so I can lift her up like my wee hairy baby. We are in love.
Bless!
Next in the roll call of hair and chaos a round of applause please for……….
drum roll……….
SAMMY THE FAMILY SAP.
Edinburgh Cat & Dog Home Girl too

The look of love is in your eye despite proximity to dubious trouser leg.

Sammy Almost Labrador
The lights are on and nobody’s even popped in. Nae the brightest but then as they say birds of a feather and a’ that.
Edinburgh Cat & Dog Home. Found just before Christmas a few years ago theory being she was chucked out so they could a new model.
FLORA  livid and about to savage the new arrival – The Warthog.
Flora About To Savage the new addition - Wart Hog.

The Warthog is about to get it from Flora - livid.

 

The next hairy fool you see here is Nellie. Now she is not strictly mine – in fact she is strictly my Mums and as you can see here she is fast, hirsute and cheeky. Nellie not my Mum.  Clock the expression as she dives past me knowing I am about to  try to capture her – and fail. Sam in the background just looks confused – who am I? who are you? the usual and Flora is eyeing up the 16th hole for her putt before heading home to do The Times crossword.

Nellie making a run for it at speed.

  • http://alisonsdiary.com/ Alison

    Tiny wart hogs rule.

  • http://pbjdreamer.blogspot.com/ AmyLynn

    Hilarious

    I love that tiny wart hog. I am here visiting from Laura’s blog.

  • CaroleC

    I used to have mutt that looked very much like Flora – wee hairy dog, big attitude but feart of baths and bluebottles! Rotties – bring them on! Bring out the marigolds and its under the bed for me!! Midge was killed one bonefire night when he ran off due to bloody fireworks.
    I have a cat called Flora (much the same attitude it has to be said), her partner in crime is Charlie (Flora McDonald…Bonnie Prince Charlie) Yeah I know seemed a good idea at the time!!

  • Barryrcoutts

    So glad to see an animal lover such as yourself wax on lyrically about yer animals.
    Here i am on the island of Crete and everywhere i go there are stray cats and dogs running about in and out of garbage bins like rats in a sewer.
    Nobody wants them and there is no free vet services here so they continually breed constantly.
    It's also bad with the canine family although there is a charity here that takes them of the street and houses them for a month feeds them cleans them walks them and then a big truck arrives and they are transported to Germany where they are re-homed, unfortunately nobody wants the cats and as they are deemed to be much more clever than cats and able to look after themselves they are left to their own devices.
    Occasionally they take in cats if able to catch them and i have seen far to many road kill cats which makes for an unpleasant memory.
    There is a charity that does all this including the truck to Germany all from donations and thanks to the British and the Americans based here at the N.A.T.O. base and retired Brits as well as other Europeans they can get these animals taken care of, i shudder to think what the outcome would be without it, the Cretans love to shoot and will literally shoot anything that moves in the scrub land, including strangely enough street signs, i pray they continue to shoot them and not the animal kingdom.

  • http://www.quintinjardine.com QJ

    Two of my granddogs are labs. These are not the brightest animals, but kind.

    Thanks for the chair. Do EIBF ever ask you?

  • http://alisonsdiary.com/ Alison

    I love that dog. Almost as much as the warthog.

  • http://alisonsdiary.com/ Alison

    I co-presnted that with Nicky cambell yeas ago and didn't think anyone would remember it! I have done my best to block it out! Teenwolf won't be appearing on the blog as he would never speak to me again!

  • Martin forbes

    Hi alison.
    Fit like in 1990 Grampian did aone off seies with nicky campbell you better believe it you were the voiceover introducing the show can you remebr this were you seen in vision how many episiodes were made and when are we going to see apicture of teenwolf on site .#
    Have you been catching the old in vison gtcclips on tv-ark and youtube which i still call grmapian to this day.
    Can you reply martin forbes

  • Ruth

    Im reading your book, The Nappy Years….. Proper piss yersel laughing gear. .. and its all true!! Im currently trying to flog a £900 quid combi something or other pram cos my £40 quid pushchair does a better job.

    So cheers for the laugh today! I needed it! Ruth x

    P.s, your aff yer heid!

  • jaclynbrady

    Really miss ur column in the sunday mail ur tales cheered me n other half up no end every week now ive discovered ur online I can get my weekly dose of ur antics, after running about after my 3 babas aged 4, 2 and 4 months u provide a bit of light relief many thanks xxx

  • Alice Martin

    Hi Alison, just wanted to say thanks for my bot of champers. Made me very happy but daughter Claire is sniffing around. have hidden it in the garage so i hope she forgets cause I won't. Thanks thanks thanks. Much appreciated

  • http://alisonsdiary.com/ Alison

    Thanks Sue. He has just kicked a ball over the cottage we are staying at over the roof, lost his trainer which is now 15 feet from the ground with his new £50 orthotic in it. Oh & it's pouring! Happy Holidays….

  • suecraig

    hi alison

    we read your column every sunday. How true your words were. we also have a teenage son and reading about teenwolf was just like reading about our own son – the moods, the knowing better etc etc etc.

    have just discovered this website but it will be going in my fav page

    sue x

  • martinforbes

    hi alison when are we going to see apicture of your son teenwolf.

  • Bob Smith

    I think it's great that you rescued Flora from the Cat and Dog Home – when I was in short trousers We opted for a pedigree cocker spaniel (Sooty) – and your comments about legs frozen in snowballs reminded of us thawing out Sooty in a basin of warm water. Spaniels have very fine hair between their pads and their feathers (behind their legs) – these get packed with snow. Grooming is also a major problem – We would have been better with a terrier or mongrel. Oldest daughter wanted a Border Terrier instead of a baby – guess what – she is now pregnant! Dogs and babies don't (necessarily) mix so the dog is on a back burner (not literally!) for the present.

  • http://maxandmollydesigns.wordpress.com/ Jane

    Aw, super-cute doggies! Re your comment about whether dogs are allowed in the Sheep Heid – not sure. We have never tried to take ours in (they are both notorious food thieves!) but I think the manager & his family are doggy people so they may well be allowed ;-) Jane.x

  • http://alisonsdiary.com/ Alison

    Thanks Audrey ! I cancelled my Sunday Mail today – onwards and upwards!

  • audreymckay

    Was really depressed this morning – no Alison to make me chuckle, but saying that I've just spent a very enjoyable hour in cyber space. Just as good if not better!! Thank you Alison – lang may yer lum reek xx

  • http://alisonsdiary.com/ Alison

    Thanks Mary. Happy days on the roof of a shopping centre in Glasgow doing Room At The Top with Stephen – completely surreal!

  • Mary R

    Missed your column to-day in Sunday Mail, had many a laugh with you.Iam sure this will be a success for you.Remember your tv show Room At The Top with Stephen Jardine BRILLIANT!!!

  • alison

    Tha’ts my girl! Yup Ms. Dynamite does the breakfast show on Kingdom FM and as you say she is an absolute belter.

  • Susan

    Does Dynamite Di work for Kingdom Fm? If it is her then she is an absoule gem – very entertaining too!!

  • alison

    Valerie ! YES! Another techno chick! Actually my phone is almost steam driven…still I hope you subscribed to the site and a bottle of champagne might just put a wee smile on that cheeky face!

  • Valerie

    Good luck Alison, I will miss your colum but will keep up wi your high jinks via my groovy new iPhone. X

  • pats mcclay

    Oh! thanks so much for that I really do appreciate it.

    Pats x

  • alison

    It is her! I phoned her up she burst out laughing and remembers you very well indeed!
    I will send you her contact details…I can feel a reunion coming on……..

    Alison

  • alison

    Small world? Some of the stories of her at school are classic – so you were one of them !
    Send me your details – I won’t put them on the site! – and I will pass them on to her.
    Thanks for clicking on alisonsdiary.com and I hope you subscribed to be in with a shout for the Champagne.
    Alison x

  • pats mcclay

    Hi
    After reading your page for years I only today saw a pic of dynamite di and I am sure I used to pal about with her at school would be great to know what everyone else is up to.

    thanks

  • alison

    Thanks for the message and thanks for clicking on the site.
    Yes it will be very different doing my column here instead of the paper but at least I’m being replaced by a sodoku puzzle and not a younger model! If you click on Diary at the top of the page there is already quite a lot of nonsense… I hope you have subscribed so you’re in with a shout for the Champagne. Ah well..take care of yourself I’d beter be off.
    Cheers!
    Alison x

  • violet ness

    Good luck in the future Alison, I will miss your column every week, felt like you were one of the family as you let us have a nosy into your life. I have laughed with you, and cried with you too Alison.Hope your mum is okay, also your boys and dogs. Thanks xx