{"id":705,"date":"2010-04-02T11:24:01","date_gmt":"2010-04-02T10:24:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/?p=705"},"modified":"2012-05-29T22:00:34","modified_gmt":"2012-05-29T21:00:34","slug":"the-eggs-are-goading-me-they-bloody-are","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/2010\/04\/the-eggs-are-goading-me-they-bloody-are\/","title":{"rendered":"The Eggs are goading me – they bloody are!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A week ago I fell for the ad on the telly – 2 Easter eggs for the price of one, and planning ahead – a rare event I went \u00a0off and bought a shed load for nieces, nephews, friends, Romans and countrymen. Having distributed most there were 4 in the house at 10.55pm Thursday night. There are \u00a0now 3.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Not a problem. Bring it on.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I fell \u00a0by the wayside about 11pm last night. Long day, low blood sugar, hormones flying and \u00a0a big sparkly chocolate egg winking at me from the IKEA carrier bag in the hall. Eat me . Eat me. It willed from it’s hiding place.
\nScowling at it I walked away and yet even when in the kitchen toying with a satsuma I could hear it’s doleful cry. I’m creamy, chocolatey and wonderful to stuff into your chops. Hey come on. Where’s the wild renegade face stuffer of old it goaded, \u00a0the one who would rip open a family bag of Revels, toast them on a slab of homemade bread and down it in a oner?<\/p>\n

That wasn’t me! I heard myself answer, knowing I was lying. It was. The egg was right. Had I really become that rather sad person, that staying in on a Thursday night, pathetic satsuma stroker? \u00a0The sort of fruit eater I would have scoffed at – and how (and with what?) – in the past. \u00a0Hell the No. 36 bus might take me out tomorrow I rationalised.<\/p>\n

So stomping purposefully into the hall I opened the bag roughly plucking out the big cardboard box of beautifully packaged giant\u00a0Cadbury Mini egg. \u00a0Ripping into it, my heart thumped, the egg fell out, grabbing it, tearing off the sparkly wrap I groaned as I snapped it in two, the noise of that thick milk chocolate \u00a0dense and decadent was coming my way.<\/p>\n

20 minutes later, still in the hall, \u00a0feeling sick. The deed was \u00a0done. The egg was gone. The gut was burbling. If I was a dog I’d be dead. Poisoned. \u00a0Still it was bloody worth it.<\/p>\n

SEE?<\/p>\n

Not exactly a role model. More a horrible warning.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
I'm saving your life. I told this face. Chocolate is poisonous to dogs you know.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A week ago I fell for the ad on the telly – 2 Easter eggs for the price of one, and planning ahead – a…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25,24,104,77],"tags":[416,415,413,412,110,417,353,414],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=705"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/705\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=705"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=705"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=705"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}