{"id":6578,"date":"2013-01-20T20:58:22","date_gmt":"2013-01-20T20:58:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/?p=6578"},"modified":"2013-01-20T20:58:22","modified_gmt":"2013-01-20T20:58:22","slug":"sock-it-to-me-baby","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/2013\/01\/sock-it-to-me-baby\/","title":{"rendered":"Sock it to me baby."},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/em>\"\"<\/a>Moving house is a pain in the neck. We have moved more times than I can count. It used to be bin liners and a bashed suitcase. Then we graduated to cardboard boxes\u00a0 and a pal with a car. Then a van and this week it involves a great steaming long heavy weight lorry type thing. Nightmare. A very tiring nightmare . Not that I will be doing the heavy lifting. Just the bossing. Or pointing.\u00a0 And eating the chocolate biscuits. Or all three.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yup we are downsizing, from a place with walls to an altogether more open plan sort of affair. Wall free.This sounds lovely and New York apartmentish until you realise we are possibly the most untidy family in Europe or possibly even the world.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

As the walls disappear the feeling of openess is wonderful \u2013of course this is because we haven\u2019t moved in yet.\u00a0 The minute we get there with our clumps of keys, papers, laptops, odd socks, geriatric dogs, coat hangers, puffy winter jackets and embarrassing hats that feeling of open plan spaciousness will be gone and quickly forgotten. Once the boxes of stuff arrive we\u00a0 may well disappear under it for days, weeks or even months. Honestly I feel like running to the hills until it\u2019s all done.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>The biggest and most annoying thing is the great moaning groaning mountain of socks that will come with us. Every few years I purge my life of the multiple single sock phenomenon and\u00a0 day by day it creeps up on me again. \u00a0I have a few pairs \u2013 obviously girlie size 6 ones and as I am the only human woman in the place it is not difficult to focus on the source of my anguish – yes the two socked males I share my world with. Both size 11 feet, both with an allergy to washing machines and both with a high probability of being wapped on the side of the head with the laundry basket if they don\u2019t get a grip of them soon. I can feel a bonfire coming on.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Gggggrrrrrrrrr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Black socks.\u00a0 Winter socks. Sports socks. Old gnarly holey socks. Individual stripey socks who have long lost their partner. Threadbare favourite sock who sits perched behind the tap optimistically waiting as each load of washing is spat out forlornly looking for his doppelganger.\u00a0 The bane of my life. I tried to putting them in a huge \u00a0laundry basket so they can just live there but within this black hole of sock disappears things like \u2013 my socks, time, patience, life. \u00a0So at the end of my rope I call a hormonal overbearing summit during which the male inhabitants \u00a0remain seated, exchange glances and roll their eyes at me and I warn then I am not joking and \u00a0shall move to Borneo if they don’t sort the sock mountain \u00a0out once and for all.<\/p>\n

‘How can you move to Borneo if you don’t like flying?’ \u00a0asks the fruit of my loins.<\/p>\n

‘I will walk’. I state calmly through gritted teeth as I mince past clenched to run a bath.<\/p>\n

Count to ten.
\nCut to 7.45am \u00a0the following morning. I hear the teenwolf loping past \u00a0my bedroom door closely followed by a \u00a0yowl<\/p>\n

\u2018M….u…….m \u00a0 I can\u2019t find any socks\u2019<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Don’t mess with the evil eyeball.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Bulgy eyed, red faced and hair on end I leap up, stomp through to the sock black hole, \u00a0swing my head round the door ready \u00a0to vent my spleen and give him the evil eye but before I can blurt a word out his face snaps into a vast cheesy grin. \u2018Ha Mum – \u00a0got ya!\u2019.<\/p>\n

Correct.<\/p>\n

You live a long time after you’re laughed at.<\/p>\n

I should make 132.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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