{"id":3805,"date":"2011-05-02T20:53:50","date_gmt":"2011-05-02T19:53:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/?p=3805"},"modified":"2012-05-29T21:35:35","modified_gmt":"2012-05-29T20:35:35","slug":"give-the-dog-a-dog-and-bone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/2011\/05\/give-the-dog-a-dog-and-bone\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t trust that Dog."},"content":{"rendered":"

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Never underestimate the power of the dog. The intelligence of the dog and the fact that they know far more than they are letting on. Oh yes they do.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Example. At 2.3am GMT Sun\/Mon\u00a0I woke up and flicked my infernal phone\/blackberry to see what time it was. As I plooped the button an announcement came in via Twitter \u2018President Obama is about to make an emergency announcement from the White House on the matter of national security\u2019 Hello. I thought. This is the part when Jeff Goldblum bursts in and tells us there are bleedin’ aliens all over the place and not to panic but we\u2019re all going to die. Yeh yeh I know it\u2019s the overactive imagination gene.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>But<\/strong> with the long suffering husband away for a few days and Teenwolf slumped asleep in the room next door it was up to me to save the world. Or at least find out what was happening before packing our bags and heading for the hills with a bottle of Bacardi<\/a> a six pack of beer, 20 fags \u2013 yeh I am taking up chain smoking again\u00a0 instantly if the world is going to blow up, my CD’s\u00a0and the dogs.<\/p>\n

So TV flipped on I sat for 45 minutes before the news leaked the USA had the body of Osama Bin Laden.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Osama Bin Laden,\u00a0 Barrack Hussein Obama, Osama Bin Laden, Barrack Hussein Obama, Osama Bin laden, Barrack Hussein\u00a0 Obama for the dyslexics amongst us there is not much in it. I bet a penny to a pound of shit some journo somewhere will announce the wrong name. And I was right – check here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I digress.<\/p>\n

It was at this stage I realised I was awake and thought I might as get even more awake so went down to make a coffee and contemplate what if\u00a0we had been invaded by\u00a0bloody aliens. As I walked in through the kitchen door I thought we had when I found the following.<\/p>\n

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Sam, nice but dim sitting on mission control bean bag 1, with TV remote control under one paw, headphones which must be connected to\u00a0MI5 or the CIA\u00a0\u00a0on her flappy ears, \u00a0wearing the long suffering husbands Tom Cruisesque sun specs which he thought he \u00a0had lost. She must have nicked them.\u00a0 \u2018Those are\u00a0not your \u00a0glasses\u2019 I shouted. Her response? To\u00a0take them off, \u00a0walk towards me and sit down whilst demonstrating a rather slow\u00a0 tail wag inferring I should back right off. Gulp. Labrador goes bad.<\/p>\n

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Next I looked to my small\u00a0\u00a0hairy ally in life\u00a0to\u00a0 Flora \u2013 half haggis half womble\u00a0who I thought was sleeping but\u00a0on closer inpsection\u00a0\u00a0I was shocked to find she \u00a0also watching the CNN coverage and she was on my bloody mobile phone.Clever these beasties. I\u2019m telling you don\u2019t underestimate them. Ever.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Slinking off to a safe part of the house, a little (no make that a lot) freaked out I checked my mobile phone bill. And the call log\u00a0suggests Flora is having a relationship with\u00a0 a dog in Texas. A real Deputy Dawg. I haven’t confronted her yet – I mean look at this face.. Would you?<\/p>\n

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I think the aliens may already be here. In my house.<\/p>\n

Oh just FYI : This is about dogs and their intelligence. So don’t believe that drooling, unconditional love shit. They are at it. Big time.<\/p>\n