{"id":2326,"date":"2010-12-28T17:08:12","date_gmt":"2010-12-28T17:08:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/?p=2326"},"modified":"2012-05-29T21:49:49","modified_gmt":"2012-05-29T20:49:49","slug":"christmas-day-the-evidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/2010\/12\/christmas-day-the-evidence\/","title":{"rendered":"Christmas Day – dog day afternoon."},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Miming<\/a>
Singing along to Lady Gaga is Sam - nice but dim.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

How they love watching everyone opening their stockings. How they love watching the turkey being cooked and carved with the chance of the \u00a0odd chipolata plummeting onto the floor and being guzzled by themselves. Ah yes bliss.
\nDespite all this merriment the highlight of their day\u00a0 is when the attention is turns to them. A tradition in many a Scots house is that everyone has a party piece. The dogs are no exception.<\/p>\n

First off was Sam the labrador cross, \u00a0pictured here \u00a0singing a traditonal ballad. Originally in Gaelic she translated it and as you can see by the sincerity in her face it was\u00a0a very moving song. Being accompanied by Lyle Lovett\u00a0on the guitar\u00a0who we were surprised and delighted popped in for a bit of Xmas pud and a sherry, the two of them brought the house down. Sam, rescued from Edinburgh dog & cat home<\/a> several years ago has never forgotten the days when she had to sing for her supper under Waverely Bridge andthat day Lyle tossed a coin into her blanket. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house after their version of ‘I’m Nobodys Child’.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Nelly Lutcher - the lurcher - demonstrating hat wearing for the pointy.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Next on the podium\u00a0was\u00a0 Nelly – Mum’s dog – named after Nelly Lutcher<\/a> the 1940\/50’s jazz singer as she is a lurcher and also coincidentally a jazz singer. She took to the stage right after\u00a0 Christmas dinner and was exhausted after singing the full back cataglogue of Ella Fitzgerald classics. She is pictured\u00a0 relaxing on the couch after a large whisky and a Bonio.\u00a0 \u00a0Another Dog & Cat home girl – she was chucked over the wall of the home and found there the next day. It wasn’t long before we took her in and imagine our delight \u00a0when we reliased she could sing like a bird – sorry I mean dog.<\/p>\n

I make no apology for the fact the low slung, half womble half haggis dog named Flora – as she is close to the floor- is my favourite. With the voice of an angel and a personality akin to Ray Winstone she holds \u00a0my heart in her gummy jaws.\u00a0Unleashing her personality and halitosis \u00a0she got up and recited\u00a0The Pobble Who Had No Toes before fashioning a rather jaunty hat addition out of some balloons which you can see her modelling here. What a star. Philip Treacy has been in touch desperate to get her to design a new line of hats for Ascot 2011 – watch this space.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Flora - close to the floor - and giving the evil eye.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
\n
\"\"<\/a><\/dt>\n
<\/dt>\n<\/div>\n
If your dog fancies giving it a shot here are the words of<\/div>\n
The Pobble Who Has No Toes -by Edward Lear<\/strong><\/div>\n

The Pobble who has no toes
\nHad once as many as we;
\nWhen they said “Some day you may lose them all;”
\nHe replied “Fish, fiddle-de-dee!”
\nAnd his Aunt Jobiska made him drink
\nLavender water tinged with pink,
\nFor she said “The World in general knows
\nThere’s nothing so good for a Pobble’s toes!”<\/p>\n

The Pobble who has no toes
\nSwam across the Bristol Channel;
\nBut before he set out he wrapped his nose
\nIn a piece of scarlet flannel.
\nFor his Aunt Jobiska said “No harm
\nCan come to his toes if his nose is warm;
\nAnd it’s perfectly known that a Pobble’s toes
\nAre safe, — provided he minds his nose!”<\/p>\n

The Pobble swam fast and well,
\nAnd when boats or ships came near him,
\nHe tinkledy-blinkledy-winkled a bell,
\nSo that all the world could hear him.
\nAnd all the Sailors and Admirals cried,
\nWhen they saw him nearing the further side –
\n“He has gone to fish for his Aunt Jobiska’s
\nRuncible Cat with crimson whiskers!”<\/p>\n

But before he touched the shore,
\nThe shore of the Bristol Channel,
\nA sea-green porpoise carried away
\nHis wrapper of scarlet flannel.
\nAnd when he came to observe his feet,
\nFormerly garnished with toes so neat,
\nHis face at once became forlorn,
\nOn perceiving that all his toes were gone!<\/p>\n

And nobody ever knew,
\nFrom that dark day to the present,
\nWhoso had taken the Pobble’s toes,
\nIn a manner so far from pleasant.
\nWhether the shrimps, or crawfish grey,
\nOr crafty Mermaids stole them away –
\nNobody knew: and nobody knows
\nHow the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!<\/p>\n

The Pobble who has no toes
\nWas placed in a friendly Bark,
\nAnd they rowed him back, and carried him up
\nTo his Aunt Jobiska’s Park.
\nAnd she made him a feast at his earnest wish
\nOf eggs and buttercups fried with fish, –
\nAnd she said “It’s a fact the whole world knows,
\nThat Pobbles are happier without their toes!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How they love watching everyone opening their stockings. How they love watching the turkey being cooked and carved with the chance of the \u00a0odd chipolata…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25,24,77],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2326"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2326"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2326\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}