{"id":2058,"date":"2010-11-21T18:09:34","date_gmt":"2010-11-21T18:09:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/?p=2058"},"modified":"2012-05-29T21:49:52","modified_gmt":"2012-05-29T20:49:52","slug":"asda-make-you-pick-your-bum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/2010\/11\/asda-make-you-pick-your-bum\/","title":{"rendered":"Asda make you pick your bum."},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"\"<\/a>Are you trawling the shops for your Christmas party dress? Well, Asda <\/a>have\u00a0just\u00a0announced The Wonderbum\u00a0 range having decided our bums are non longer just general bums but they are to be categorised into 4 shapes.<\/div>\n
According to\u00a0these self appointed Professors of Posterior\u00a0almost half of us girls\u00a0have a \u00a0tomato shaped bottom<\/strong> “bigger, plumper, rounder and squishy to the touch”, the retailer said.<\/div>\n
A tomato shaped bottom\u00a0for heaven’s sake what is that about? \"\"<\/a>A cherry tomato, a Spanish tomato, a plum tomato, a fried green tomato at the whistle stop cafe?<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a>\u00a0What complete nonsense and just as well I mean look at these daft geezers –\u00a0 tomato grapplers\u00a0at large in Spain at the annual tomato festival <\/a>which from this day forward will\u00a0be \u00a0known as bum festival.<\/div>\n
\u00a0\u00a0<\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a>Next downright insult to the female form is category 2. Potato bum<\/strong>. Yes the powers that be say that a lot of us\u00a0have bums that look like a potato.\u00a0 The “less fortunate” potato shape, suffered<\/strong> by 30% of women, is wide, long and lumpy.Cheeky. Ahem. Personally I think this potato looks like a bum not the other way round. And when we talked to our inhouse expert \"\"<\/a>Mr Potato Head he was livid.<\/div>\n
‘Are you saying I look like an arse?’ he said before stomping off in high dudgeon – I think he has a chip on his shoulder.\u00a0And who can blame him.<\/div>\n
The\u00a0third category, the familiar and yet\u00a0 insulting pear <\/strong>shaped bum remains in vogue.<\/div>\n
”The pear shape is narrower at the top and almost twice the size at the fullest part of the behind’ Pear shape\u00a0is\u00a0something I have been called and to me it is\u00a0tantamount to shouting\u00a0\u00a0and pointing ‘hey you! You’ve got a\u00a0big bahooky I’m looking for somewhere to park\u00a0\"\"<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
my bike. Any chance?’<\/div>\n
So tomatos, tatties and pears\u00a0\u00a0what’s the\u00a0final one?<\/div>\n
A nectarine<\/strong>. A nectarine overly red, with a big stone in the middle not something I would relish.<\/div>\n
Asda say that a nectarine bum is\u00a0“close to the cartoonesque derriere perfection of two bowling balls pushed together”. Two bowling balls pushed together?! \u00a0Have you ever picked up a bowling bowl, incredibly heavy and gulp it has\u00a0 3 holes. No thank you.\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
The Wonderbum range<\/strong>\u00a0was launched\u00a0after\u00a0a survey revealed that 85% of women worried about the size and shape of their bottoms. Only 85% !Well I am sure that will be up\u00a0to 99% now. Am I a tomato? A potato? A pear? or a nectarine?<\/div>\n

Asda say \u00a0“Women should celebrate their shapes this Christmas. We’ve designed a range of gorgeous party dresses to suit every shape and size.”\u00a0 But if I can add if your backside in any resembles a bowling ball\u00a0 like this one\u00a0 call your Dr. forthwith.<\/p>\n

If you feel you fit the fruity profile then the Wonderbum range features four dresses in sizes 8 to 20, priced from \u00a320 – blooming good value never mind the rest of it. See you at the bar!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you trawling the shops for your Christmas party dress? Well, Asda have\u00a0just\u00a0announced The Wonderbum\u00a0 range having decided our bums are non longer just general…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25,24,104,77],"tags":[938,943,942,945,944,946,941,940,939],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2058"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2058"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2058\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2058"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2058"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2058"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}