{"id":1293,"date":"2010-07-23T12:51:36","date_gmt":"2010-07-23T11:51:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/?p=1293"},"modified":"2012-05-29T21:54:46","modified_gmt":"2012-05-29T20:54:46","slug":"ab-fab-friend-back-from-the-caribbean-i-may-have-to-kill-her","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/2010\/07\/ab-fab-friend-back-from-the-caribbean-i-may-have-to-kill-her\/","title":{"rendered":"Ab Fab friend back from the Caribbean &#8211; I may have to kill her."},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_1294\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1294\" style=\"width: 102px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/fake-tan.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1294\" title=\"fake tan\" src=\"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/fake-tan.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"102\" height=\"120\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1294\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Quite realistic really<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Off to meet old pal who has just had 2 weeks in the Caribbean. This proves I have completely lost it. Permanently.\u00a0 I mean who in their right mind would have a friend who would bugger off to such an exotic part of the world only to come back and gloat. So I am off for the gloat. I am.<\/p>\n<p>I guarantee she will be dressed head to toe in white which have the added effect of making her teeth and eyes look whiter and better and already I feel a slumping depression will have kicked in by 3pm Greenwich mean time. Very mean.<\/p>\n<p>Clarted in fake tan, big pants strapped on in an attempt to restrict the giant arse, too much make-up in an attempt to hide the inevitable horror of July in Scotland <a href=\"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Ruby.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-1295\" title=\"Ruby\" src=\"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/07\/Ruby.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"78\" height=\"78\" \/><\/a>turning me into a static eating machine. Off I shuffle ready to bear my yellow teeth and eyes with enthusiasm as she regales me with the highlights of the holiday. I have already heard about Wayne Rooney pitching up during the world cup, Colleen in a tiny green bikini and Ruby Wax in the gym.<\/p>\n<p>I can always bat back with my &#8216; I saw George Clooney in a loin cloth&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>Really?<\/p>\n<p>No I&#8217;m lying now shut up and buy me a drink.<\/p>\n<p>I will report back.<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Off to meet old pal who has just had 2 weeks in the Caribbean. This proves I have completely lost it. Permanently.\u00a0 I mean who&#8230;<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[25,24,104,83,1161,77,1],"tags":[745,89,744,746],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1293"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1293\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/alisonsdiary.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}