Feck it’s Stuff Your Face February!

Feck it’s Stuff Your Face February!


Dry January – (dryish) is over and so the onslaught of booze, red meat, cheese can start again.

Veganuary – which sounded so like vaginuary to me that it took quite some time to realise people weren’t openly discussing their genitals. 

A few of my pals tried it – going vegan for the month  not chatting about their fandangos – and said they felt great. They certainly looked great. Clear skin, bright eyes, more energy.

Who’s to say talking about your vagina and giving it lots of attention wouldn’t have a similar effect ? Still.

So being a living breathing cliche, I did go mainly vegetarian and dry  for January –  bar a few days in London during which all bets were off. Booze flowed, red meat was consumed and I returned to Scotland with a liver like pate and the complexion of a potato. So maybe there is something in it.

Quite a few of my lot are sticking with it – not least because Gregs bakery have launched a – thundering of hooves  – Vegan Sausage Roll!

Anyway at the end of a months of good behaviour I have detected my hair is in better condition ( when I say ‘my hair’ – it is all mine it’s just the colour  is someone else’s. Aveda’s to be precise – but despite that it looks healthier).

Though I am writing this from a horizontal position, as I have fallen prey to the nasty fluy thing that is doing the rounds….so I’m not sure about my immune system but as for the rest of it…

I am no supermodel but I can say without any bullshit.

My nails grew. 

My skin is clearer and has a better palor….

My energy levels much better

My urge to consume vast bags of crisps did not diminish – though I fought it for Jan – had a 4 bags – 1 a week not bad!

No change in the urge to stuff handfuls of chocolate into my mouth down my throat – and as I lie here there is  a Tunnock’s Teacake on my pillow which will be consumed with second I publish this. POP. In a oner. (By the way below you will see the Dark Chocolate Tunnock Teacake which if you haven’t tried I recommend you do so – God thy are GREAT! I digress….)

But here’s the shocker I  don’t miss the booze. Not one iota.

I did have a glass or 5 in London but the aftermath wasn’t pretty.

Cannoning out of a restaurant  earlier than everyone else to go face down as my tolerance is non existent.

And the inevitable aftermath – a day  spent shuffling, dry, puffed up faced,  fighting the desire to curl up on the couch, drink hot chocolate and watch 3 series of First Dates back to back.

Head like a bag of bolts

So unexpectedly Dry January – slips into Dry February – OK its only the first week but – well let’s wait and see….after decades and decades of decadence and boozing could this really be it?


Writer & broadcaster.

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