The Clampetts with the sausage dog in Beaune.

The Clampetts with the sausage dog in Beaune.

What is about the bloody French? They can put on a paper bag, tie a piece of string round their waists – and yes they have waists – and Voila! Stylish, understated, haughty and elegant.

On the other hand the Scots – well this one in particular – arrived in the car,   fell out into the car park with cramp screeching “my foot, my bloody foot argh!”. Once I had righted myself I looked down at my chocolate stained aged ripped H&M jeans, my crumb encrusted crumpled shirt and after a perfunctory brush off looked up and into the calm and steely gaze of a table of French people.  Their look was ill disguised amusement,   a sort of ‘what the feck is that sac de washing ?” (though they wouldn’t use the word feck obviously).

We had arrived in Beaune – Hotel Le Cep. Ancient, building in the heart of the town. Undeterred but the understated elegance I was now disrupting by my presence we were not to be stopped.

 

Under their inscrutable gaze I proceeded to unchain the sausage dog who was straining to get out of the back seat, as David  opened the boot and took our our unmatching, unzipped, bags, with arms of shirts, legs of trousers, dangerously teetering toilet bags and the piece de resistance a pair of my scrunched up knickers  which tumbled to the ground as the full stop to our less than stylish arrival.  And put it this way they were no Rigby & Peller numbers here …..enough said.

As we shuffled past like the Clampetts towards reception the group of elegant onlookers started talking again as if we had just been a hiccough in their otherwise perfect day. No smiles, no hellos, no can I help you’s or even  so would you like some help – I mean psychiatric help?

Hello! We’re here!

So here we are in Beaune. The sausage, the husband and I.

In the centre of France and a viable drive from the Eurotunnel to stop over night enroute to Spain.

It looks like the set from Chocolat – and that s not just my jeans – it is ancient, and stone and antique and quiet – quiet cos it’s the beginning of May so a lovely place to daunder round.

Our trip is of course driven by the need to accommodate the sausage and so we are staying at the rather plush – Hotel Le Cep – right in the centre.  Our room is extraordinary and within moments we have made it look like the Who On Tour have checked in.

It’s a talent you know, unconscious untidiness.

Still the dog looks the part – at least one of the three of us exudes class and hair in the right places.

La de da!
The dog in Beaune (see what I did there? With the long suffering husband.

Here are 2 of the clampetts below – after I had swapped out my H&M for my M&S breeks. we spotted Chez Louis – the name of our human son and so insisted in taking a photo.

 

We are off again tomorrow – so wish us luck! The sausage is ready for rolling……

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AlisonsDiary

Writer & broadcaster.

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