This post is about a YouTube sensation. The only problem is I was too busy laughing hysterically so failed to press Record on my Blackberry.
Last night as the long suffering husband and I wended our way hameward after a night of fun in Edinburgh at the Fringe – we had been at The One Below watching The Bradleys – a brilliant band. It was midnight and we were just trailing down the road when we saw this man. To say he was drunk was to say the sun is warm. This guy was miraculous, plastered, steaming, bladdered, guttered, smashed, away with the goalie, 3 sheets to the wind – I think you get the picture. He’d had a few then 6 dozen more.
From the waist down, his legs were vertical and careering him along the pavement but the stott – as we like to call it – was governed by the top half of his body. From the waist the entire top half of his body was seized over to the left. Not to the front, not to the back, not the right but to the left. To the extent that the only way he could make his way along the road was by the top of his head sliding along the glass windows of the shops and bars as his wee legs held him aloft. Between windows he was cast loose. Out of control without his head gripping he weaved dangerously from side to side and then Smack back against a window he slid on.
I confess the LSH and I stood agog and laughed. He was a sitcom drunk. A keystone Cop. Charlie Chaplin. WC Fields and Rab C Nesbitt rolled into one.
Then as we stood having hysterics the latest window he was sliding along finished and he plummeted to the ground in a doorway. Both the LSH and I ran forward to see if he was OK and decided to haul him up. As his rheumy eyes tried to focus, suddenly his face broke into a huge smile.
‘DAVE! ALISON! How are you?’
We looked at each other. We had no idea who this rubber man was. We still don’t.
‘Fine thanks’ we said hauling him up onto his wobbly feet. ‘Now where are you goin?’
‘Chips’
So we grabbed an oxter each and steered him to the nearest chip shop. Pointing his head in the direction of the door way we watched as he slid in.
Laughing all the way home, we found neither of us had managed to record our You Tube sensation. Really. A classic Edinburgh night. And it’s just the first weekend of the festival. Tonight..we are off to see some comedy and eat great seafood. Ach who needs to go away on holiday we’ve got it all here? And in the case of last night live music for £5, a rubber mans bad balancing act and the best laugh I’ve had in years. I will report back……
