Food warning – this is no laughing matter.

So there I was starving. OK not starving just in the mood for some fridge raiding and face stuffing to supplement my already well stuffed face. So I am scanning the kitchen and suddenly my eyes alight on this 3 pack of stuff.  Wow that looks tasty I thought. What could I have that with?

Some mayo? Some fresh bread  and pickle? Maybe I could grill it with some cheese. Or hey let’s face it it looks so damn good I will just shove it right into my chops right now. Raw. Yum.

And then I noticed this.


I nearly burst into tears. It was so close. In my hand and nearing my great open gob when I saw it. Thank God it was clearly labelled. Lord I will never take your name in vain again.  Thank you manufacturer of the blue gloopy weird stuff or God  knows what could have happened. (well come on then now we’re on talking terms what would have happened?) That was bloody close. I’m telling you.

So warn your friends, in case there blue gloopy weird stuff  isn’t quite so well marked. DO NOT EAT.

I can relax now I’ve passed that along. Exhale.

You’re welcome.

Twitter: @alisonsdiary


Writer & broadcaster.

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