Bloody teenagers!


Teenwolf. Had been up for one hour. When it all got too much.

So angry yesterday I was fit to be tied, Teenwolf had a group of pals round to the communal gardens – again – on the promise he would tidy everything up. So when walking the dogs in the morning I came upon an enclave in the garden which as my pal Fiona said when she clocked it ‘God it looks like Guns N Roses have been in here ‘. Stomping off back to the house I marched into the lair of the wolf.

‘Get up right now and clear the garden up’. Silence and no movement. So I upped the decibel level to high screech with accompanying door thump. A vague stirring. So I whipped the duvet off – a classic move which never fails to get a reaction – ‘What?’ came the bleary eyed response.

‘Get your backside down to the garden right now and clear up that stour’. (stour being Scots for a bloody mess/shambles)

10 minutes later he was spotted in hoodie sloping over the garden clutching a bin liner, a bucket and a reluctant friend.

So not the most auspicious start to the day. Against the odds, things were about to get worse.

Later I was doing a voice over in my studio. After recording I turned on the speakers to listen back before sending off the mp3. Nothing. I fiddled about and pressed play again. Nada except a tiny high pitched whine. ‘LOUIS!!!!!!!!!!’ I screamed as I tanked down the stairs at speed.

‘ Yeh?’
‘Answer this honestly and quickly. Have you been farting about with my studio speakers?’


Eyes bulging’ Em whaat?’

‘Well not exactly farting about. But I took them downstairs to yesterday to see how good they were’.

‘W H A T? ? Well you have blown them’.

‘I can’t have’

‘You bloody well have’.

‘Calm down I’ll sort them out’. and with that he strolled (strolled no sense or urgency or panic which put my anger level up a few notches) up to the studio, plugged them in and got no reaction at all.

‘Well they were working’.
‘Well they are not now!’ The  walls were  vibrating at this point with the velocity of shouting. Downside – high blood pressure. Upside –  the only broadcaster that doesnt need a transmitter? So I went mad. I did. I was furious.
His reaction?





The smirk was not quite so prolific after he was informed his pocket money would be witheld until new speakers were paid for.

Within an hour we were calm, the air was cleared and we were laughing. I’m still having his pocket money though.

Bloody teenagers.


Writer & broadcaster.

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