Social hand grenade goes off.

Oliver living it large with a large

After being locked in, snow, ice bound and sober for so long it was inevitable. I knew buzzing inside my rumbling tum was an urge to neck several large drinks and so why fight it? A literal social hand grenade I hit a small drinks party like Oliver Reed at opening time and took a weeks worth of units down in 3 minutes flat. Not big, not clever, just pissed and probably annoying.

You just have to sometimes. It’s as simple as that. The now infamous 2am wake up

This is a transvestite who has considerably better legs than me.Upsetting.

with tights on was followed by the dry mouth shuffle to the cold tap which I prized my mouth open to clamp onto for a few minutes. Now wide awake I returned to the bed and lay there with my head like a toyshop for 2 hours. Deciding I might as well get up I fell asleep again until 9am. Starving, the thought of a bowl of health giving cereal wasn’t going to cut the mustard so it was off to The Circle Cafe who in my humble opinion do the best eggs benedict in Edinburgh, Scotland, UK and possibly the world.

Vitamin C get it in there FAST

A glass of freshly squeezed orange, a delicious creamy latte and two perfectly poached eggs sitting atop fresh wilted spinach, drizzled in hollandaise sauce and a split warmed muffin brought tears of joy – well I did have a hangover – to my red piggy roadmap eyes. Thank you Circle Cafe. I love you and your muffins.

One happy Edinburgh housewife tackles Edinburgh pavements successfully.

Perked up, sated and happy I shuffled along the Cresta run aka the pavements in Edinburgh for a moment before deciding to walk home in the middle of the road. It was less dangerous to pretend to be a car and travel in the centre of the road, putting my arm out to indicate left or right than die on a icebound pavement. Though if I had been breathalysed they would have taken my license off me – oh not they wouldn’t I’m not a real car. I forgot for a moment. God my hangover must be worse than I thought.

Husband then finds me in favourite spot with a dry mouth, full tum in need of warmth.


Writer & broadcaster.

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