The bitch is back – and it’s not me.

So quiet. So peaceful. So scared to run, jump and shout. Yup the long and winding road of recovery continues. And so to cheer a person up what do you do? Well eat lovely food obviously.
Saturday with my dear Mum we shuffled into Rose Street and dodged the 1000’s of Kiwi’s in town for the Rugby International and dived into The Mussel Inn.
£7.50 for lunch? What? Yes. A bowl of fish chowder or a bowl o mussels, chips or salad, bread and butter and a glass of wine, a bottle of beer or a soft drink. The cockles of my heart were well warmed. The place was hoaching and no wonder. Fast smiley service and tasty delicious food. The business.

Just as well it put me in a good mood because next step was Frasers to return a dress I bought for a big job I had to duck out of last week.. 3rd floor I approached the desk to be met with a snarl. Hello I said full of fish chowder and bon homie – I am taking this dress back, unworn. The scowl darkened and the thin lipped mouth snapped. Receipt? ‘I don’t have it’ I said ‘but it has the label on, I bought it a few days ago and I have never worn it’. Nope said the grumpy one, not taking it back without a receipt.
So many things were on my lips. Top 3 were.
1.When are you getting your refund from the charm school?
2.Are you sure the service industry is for you?
3.I see you are still using your personality as contraceptive.
4.Back off bitch.
But being mature I gave her a huge fake smile, said thank you you have been so helpful, as I stuffed the dress back in the bag and stomped off at speed.
The second floor at Frasers is populated by smiley, lovely people by the time you get to the third floor the weather changes to damp dreich and frankly terrifying. Beware.

You will notice I am not mentioning the rugby.


Writer & broadcaster.

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