Spaniels, Setters yes but what about a Jack Shit?

Dogs or cats?  You really have to ask? Why DOGS of course !  Bring them on. I love them Whatever the size, shape, whether curly, sleek, pretty, hideous, waggy, confident or shy bundle them up and bring them over.

This week my pal Jackie got a cocker spaniel puppy Toby– just look at him! He is adorable.  The second I put my handbag on the floor he got into it!  But as you can see he was soon exhausted with trying to open my purse – need I remind you I am from Aberdeen. It hasn’t been opened without a hammer and chisel since 1986.

Gnawing at the Aberdeen purse.
Butter wouldn't melt in my mouth. But a sock might.
Henry & Hugo - adverts for dogs
Henry watching Hugo get stuck in

Another pal then got 2 English setter pups Hector and Hugo. The little bendy brothers are floppy and delightful.  Hugo it turns out is the over zealous one so is now titled Hugo Boss – he’s the one with the black ear.

Pal Yvonne her Jack Russell just had 3 pups – small  and perfectly formed. How are your canine hormones doing? Raging? Mine too.

Controlling myself as best I could not to stuff one or all of them into my bag and just run away off I was stumbling through Inverleith Park the other day  when a grin appeared on my face watching a low slung black beauty meandering along towards me.
What is he? I asked the equally pleased looking owner.

Half Labrador – half basset.


No – the bitch had 8 pups and they were all completely different.

I kicked myself for not having my camera on me for the 1st time in  years.

But after a few calls it seems crossbreeds are no longer mongrels but have developed breed names. The funniest ones I have heard thus far are….

A Sprollie – A  Spaniel crossed with a collie interestingly known as a Spanolly in Aberdeen. So already regional differences here.

A Swetty – A Scottie crossed with a Westie

A Labradoodle – the now famous Labrador/Poodle

A Sprocker – cocker/spring spaniel cross

Sprussell – Spaniel/Jack Russell

A Jack a poo –Jack Russell /poodle

A Golden doodle do -golden retriever/poodle

A Daniff – Great Dane/Bull Mastiff

Basschund – Basset/Daschound

Bogel – half beagle/ half boxer – for any nostril digging boys in your life.

Chestie – Chihuahua/Westie – perhaps the perfect dog for Jordan.

Chug – chihuahua/pug – A CHUG! If I told you what that meant in the north east you’d laugh like a drain.

Flandoodle – poodle/bouvier des flandres – for the phantom flan flinger or in his absence Nigella?

Giant schnoodle – poodle/giant schnauzer – over to Daniel Craig and your imagination.

Rumours of a giant schnoodle persist

Gollie golden retriver/collie – for someone who exclaims f*** alot! Golly!

A  Poo-shi – poodle/shiba inu one for any of my pals though spellt slightly differently – pushy.

A Bugg – Boston Terrier /Pug – too many suggestions but maybe for the editor of The New Of The World

A Poxer – pugg/boxer – a well you’d have to get the names from the STD clinic for this one.

Rat-a-pap -a rat terrier/papillon – Maybe for the local vermin killer rat up your drainpipe – call rat-a-pap.

Snorkie – Yorkie & Schnauzer – one of the banana splits. No that  wasn’t snorkie but snork but they were great weren’t they?

Beakle – Beagle/Cocker  – A muppet?

The Bassador – Basset/Labrador    –  Put his bed near the door and it could be The Bassadors reception and you could serve Ferrer Rocher.

Jack Russell crossed with a Shizhu – A  Jack Shit. Yeh Ok made that one up too but what a brilliant name for a dog.  Set the scene. Interested dog lover approaches you and points at the hairy wee ball on the end of the lead. What’s that ? She enquires gently.  Jack shit.

It must be done.

Now I can’t get The Banana Splits out of my head – take it away. Over to snork.


Writer & broadcaster.

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