Researching GP’s for BBC show when my GP rushes me off to hospital.

Tall slender athletes like this and I must be alike!!

Missed presenting Call Kaye Tuesday on BBC Scotland. Had to call off . Topics ironically included the fact that a new Government directive is that GP’s must spend no more than 5 minutes with each patient. So, I read up about it in preparation for the show and took a quick break ironically to go to my GP about feeling a little short of breath and wheezy. After a thorough examination during which he spent a good 15 minutes talking and examining me he instructed me to go straight to the western general. Shaken, I did as I was told calling the BBC enroute to say I might not be able to do the show.

Within an hour I was in a ward, strapped to an oxygen mask being told I had a pneumothorax. A collapsed lung to the non medical amongst us.
It usually happens to 6ft 4 “ slim athletes I was told.

‘Yes’ I said to the Dr ‘and your point is?’

But seriously folks..that Dr saved my bacon and he wouldn’t have done that if I had been turfed out after 5 minutes….so the Scottish Executives new ruling to allow only 5 minutes max per patient officially stinks. I am happily LIVING proof of that.

Just FYI these things occasionally can happen for no reason but usually it’s  if you have a chest trauma. Tracing my own carry on back  I choked on a tangerine segment – you may laugh – Dave and teenwolf did – until they realised I wasn’t joking. It took about 10 minutes to regain my normal self and during it I thought my number was up. Slow inhalation through my nose as my lungs were not working brought eventual calm.

So that was that. I thought.

As the week went on I began to feel really tired, and at night when I lay in bed next to the snoring husband I could hear a strange rasping noise coming from within – not him me for a change. As the days went on I felt exhausted, I got iron tablets convinced I was anaemic as even climbing up a few stairs had me wheezing like a 104 year old jogger and I had wild palpitations. So there you go.

These things happen to healthy people, like you, like me, follow your gut instinct, I did and thank goodness. I can happily report my  yodeling career will soon be back on track.

Of course in order to write about this I had to look up the spelling  for yon thorax thing andand now I am in a state of panic. At least I can take a deep breath when trying to calm the hyper-ventiliation. God can you get a cream for hypochondria? If so send it over now.

So my experience of the NHS was fast, efficient, informed, professional and when it hits the fan thank God they’re there doing what they do and a massive thank you to the Dr’s, nurses and even the porters who had the dubious pleasure of pushing me round in my dressing gown. Much as I liked you – I hope I never have to see you again!


Writer & broadcaster.

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