The FT publish the 7 surprising secrets of a happy life.

I'm happy! No really I am.

FT weekend magazine had an article  about the seven surprising secrets of a happy life.

In a nutshell they believe they are:

  1. Money buys you little happiness.So who needs happiness if you’re that rich anyway. Just buy friends. It’s easier, they will agree with everything you say, laugh at your jokes and tell you how fabulous you are even it you’re a bitchy troll. So you pick up the drinks bill – so what Diddums ? you’re rich shut-up and get on with it.
  1. Friends are worth more than a new Ferrari –My friends aren’t. They are worth about the same as Smart Car though they’re not very Smart so maybe more a Fiat panda circa 1986. I am worth more to them as I have hurdies like a distant hill – see Secret 5.
  2. Winning the lottery won’t make you instantly happy.So had the person that came up with that pearl of wisdom actually won the lottery? Or is it more theoretical bullshit. Winning the lottery would make me happy. I know it would. The only problem is I haven’t.
  3. Losing your job makes you unhappy – but less so when others have tooThat’s just obvious of course losing your job makes you unhappy. The second part is just plain nasty – I’ve lost my job I’m bloody miserable. Oh you’ve lost yours too? Thanks now I feel a lot better – loser.
  4. Fat Friends make you happier than thin ones.On this basis I
    This woman is ecstatic she has a fat friend. See? It works.

    fully expect to be inundated with friends. I will make  them happy. I will. Chunky, chubby, chums – yup I am your girl there. You see it all works out in the end.

5.  Divorce can make you happy itt can make you thin that’s for sure. Shedding 140lbs of unslightly fat – your husband  -of course it’s going to make you happy.

6. Happiness is Contagious.

Watch out tax payers the Government will have spent all our hard earned cash on developing an antidote to it and will have us in a nationwide immunisation program before you can say ‘ See this rash? Is that happiness?’


Writer & broadcaster.

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