West Coast of Scotland meanderings

Edinburgh festival up and fringe is up and running and so am I – in the opposite direction. To the hills and don’t spare the horses. Surprisingly I’m not actually on a horse, despite filling my car with £58 worth of petrol the other day. Sounds OK in theory but sadly its a diesel that I drive. 2 geezers in a flat bed truck picked it up, smirking – then £350 later I got it back all ship shape and Bristol fashion which underlined my reputation as a complete arse.
So…..first stop with the now working DIESEL VW is the hills. Far far away in land beyond Plockton on the West Coast of Scotland. The fun begins. Hallelujah. Too many glasses of wine last night, a goodly mix of rose and red drunk at speed on an empty stomach. Smoked salmon – a fish caught by Shaun, our host and a ham the size of a horse – God maybe it was a horse – no it was just a really big pig. Shit having seen myself in a full length mirror this morning I wonder is that cannibalism? Anyway this is now the morning after, the mouth is dry, the eyes crinkled up, sun glasses on and belly withstanding I’m off for a jaunt on a boat with 5 lobster pots, 250 feet of rope, some fish heads, 3 geezers and a bad attitude. I will report back.


Writer & broadcaster.

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