Guardian Media TV Festival kicks off, celebrity frenzy ahead.

MediaGuardian TV Festival kicks off today so gird your loins for a peppering of TV personalities on every street corner supposedly including my next husband Billy Connolly. Last year my friend declared ‘bloody hell it’s like living in OK Magazine’  Yup sunglasses on as the number of garish jackets and super bright white smiles multiplies a hundred fold.

Louie Spence latest TV phenomena is in town so if you are out dancing watch yourself – the slosh may not cut the mustard and every mover or shaker that moves and shakes in the world of TV is in the parish.

But I wonder will they cover the elephant in the room that is the increasing confusion that us, the customers, feel with an ever dizzying number of options available?  

I phoned to cancel SKY a few months ago. Smelling a potential resignation they immediately gave me 50% discount for 3 months. The 3 months are up, ironically I have watched virtually no TV thanks to good weather, a constant stream of visitors and the Edinburgh Festival and BANG they are about to whap me back to the normal rate.

Shopping around I speak to Virgin – they haven’t cabled up our road – OK so the problem is this.
Long suffering husband and teenwolf are addicted to sport, rugby & golf specifically. I know what a yawn but testosterone will be testosterone. ‘Cancel it all as long as I get Sky Sports’ was the only comment. Well that’s Sky then isn’t it? Can you get those elsewhere without shelling out so much cash? And what about this digital switch over malarkey.

God help the geriatrics frankly, as a gadget freak in her 40’s it is all beyond me.

Puritanical types can suggest we don’t have TV at all – play Scrabble (we do and it is fiercely competitive), Monopoly (zzzzzzz) or Bridge (– if I ever play Bridge please shoot me). Knit (wit), listen to music ( I do that all the time), or read (I do that constantly) but there is nothing quite like taking root on a couch with a cup of tea, a packet of Hob Nobs, a dog and a remote control.

All I want is NO SPORT
Come Dine with Me on a loop.
Pete Versus Life – new passion hilarious sitcom. Channel 4

Masterchef – over for now.

Iron Chef if it comes back – I’m in it and clearly a meglomaniac –

Sky Box Office- bollocks Sky again.

That’s how deep I am.

So is there a man with an aerial on his head that comes round and explains in basic terms what the f*** is going on? Nope thought not. I’m going to hit the bottle. Again. See it’s not my fault.

A wee reminder of Louie Spence  in case you meet him tonight….


Writer & broadcaster.

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