Jackanory with photos. Great new app!

 

Who needs a Playstation?
Who needs a Playstation?

Which creative genius suggested they make a TV show consisting of a person reading out of a book sitting static in a chair for 20 minutes and called it Jackanory. No sets. No special effects. No fancy costumes and yes it was a huge hit! The intimacy as a 5 year old sitting cross legged in front of the telly watching a lucid adult reading you a story was the water cooler moment for the new TV generation in the late 60’s. I can hear the theme tune now….in fact here it is …..

 

Of course things move on and they moved on a pace with Tales of the Riverbank in which Ratty Rat and Hammy Hamster undertook projects. Riveting rivering by anyones standards.

Johnny Morris is the voice of these incredibly creative rodents. I was glued to this as a kid and can’t imagine why we didn’t invite the helpful little critters into our homes and live amongst us.I suppose rat fever and the plague is likely the answer to that

But goodness me how things have come on. Now anyone can make their own wee story using a New app… Adobe Voice . It’s very simple and within seconds I had the hang of it oh – and this makes an Aberdonians heart sing – it’s freeee! Just download  Adobe Voice onto your phone and off you go. Start telling your own Jackanory/Tales of the Riverbank stories.

They clearly had a huge respect for women in those days.
They clearly had a huge respect for women in those days.

I’m sure will get better in time. It’s fun. It’s quick and it brings it all to life. Have a shotty and leave a link on the comments bit of this blog and let’s have a look at what your Ridley Scott influences can achieve.

 

Guardian Media TV Festival kicks off, celebrity frenzy ahead.

MediaGuardian TV Festival kicks off today so gird your loins for a peppering of TV personalities on every street corner supposedly including my next husband Billy Connolly. Last year my friend declared ‘bloody hell it’s like living in OK Magazine’  Yup sunglasses on as the number of garish jackets and super bright white smiles multiplies a hundred fold.

Louie Spence latest TV phenomena is in town so if you are out dancing watch yourself – the slosh may not cut the mustard and every mover or shaker that moves and shakes in the world of TV is in the parish.

But I wonder will they cover the elephant in the room that is the increasing confusion that us, the customers, feel with an ever dizzying number of options available?  

I phoned to cancel SKY a few months ago. Smelling a potential resignation they immediately gave me 50% discount for 3 months. The 3 months are up, ironically I have watched virtually no TV thanks to good weather, a constant stream of visitors and the Edinburgh Festival and BANG they are about to whap me back to the normal rate.

Shopping around I speak to Virgin – they haven’t cabled up our road – OK so the problem is this.
Long suffering husband and teenwolf are addicted to sport, rugby & golf specifically. I know what a yawn but testosterone will be testosterone. ‘Cancel it all as long as I get Sky Sports’ was the only comment. Well that’s Sky then isn’t it? Can you get those elsewhere without shelling out so much cash? And what about this digital switch over malarkey.

God help the geriatrics frankly, as a gadget freak in her 40’s it is all beyond me.

Puritanical types can suggest we don’t have TV at all – play Scrabble (we do and it is fiercely competitive), Monopoly (zzzzzzz) or Bridge (– if I ever play Bridge please shoot me). Knit (wit), listen to music ( I do that all the time), or read (I do that constantly) but there is nothing quite like taking root on a couch with a cup of tea, a packet of Hob Nobs, a dog and a remote control.

All I want is NO SPORT
Come Dine with Me on a loop.
Pete Versus Life – new passion hilarious sitcom. Channel 4

Masterchef – over for now.

Iron Chef if it comes back – I’m in it and clearly a meglomaniac –

Sky Box Office- bollocks Sky again.

That’s how deep I am.

So is there a man with an aerial on his head that comes round and explains in basic terms what the f*** is going on? Nope thought not. I’m going to hit the bottle. Again. See it’s not my fault.

A wee reminder of Louie Spence  in case you meet him tonight….

Safetox not Botox!

Monday

Doom and Gloom. The credit crunch – yikes. It is whapping everyone and so like everyone else I am spending a lot of time online trying to find the cheapest mobile, broadband, tv, food, power etc. It makes my head hurt. These companies have us over a barrel. It all sounds very easy until you look into the detail and the red tape and rigmoroal is nae real. Hen it gets to omuch I find myself baking. I know it is a displacement activity and one that is very bad for my backside but I started it earlier this year and can’t stop – as my muffin top will confirm -_ it is quite theraputic and I am churning them out with so regulalry that word is spreading so all the boys in our street keep turning up and casually hanging around the kitchen smiling. Today it is banana & toffee.

Tuesday

Louis has a pal staying tonight. They do their homework before going outside to play. After an hour or two I hear them coming back in and stomping off to play the Playstation. I leave them for a while and then I feel the call of the muffin so shout through the door ‘ do you want anything to eat?’ I hear a voice shout Yes as I dig out todays batch – carrot and pineapple. As I fiddle round with my back to the door I ask ‘ fancy a muffin ?’ at which point I turn only to see lined up in front of me 7 boys grinning and saying in unison ‘yes please’. The range in age from our neighbour Nick who is 10 and his pal Jamie, to Angus 14, Rory 15 and Alexander 12 from along the road and Louis plus Ben. Snow in summer they scoff the lot. The gannets.

Wednesday

A highly frustrating morning as my entire plumbing system is blocked – not me the flat. We have a sink disposal unit which blocks about 3 times a day. As I wait for the plumber I whip up some raisin, ginger, wholemeal muffins ( my secret ploy to keep Louis off the glow in the dark Haribo) The plumber comes round on the dot of mid-day and fiddles around with his equipement so to speak, and sorts it all out. I reward him for his labours with a couple of muffins. A mutual respect is born. Dave has a meeting in the house and so four more go which means when the platoon of boys come trapising in in the evening I have to break the news I only have 4 left. There is a moment of silence. Can we put in a request please? Taken aback I agree. So it is decided Apple and cinammon is on the cards tomorrow and so – unsurprisingly is Weight Watchers with my neighbour. I dont want to fall through the stage at The Great Scots….God forbid.

 Thursday

I am seriousy considering selling my car as it is costing a fortune to run and I can’t get the damn thing parked anywhere anyway so today I am bussing. I have spent some time exotlling the virtues of the public transport network in Edinburgh and I am going for it big time. £1.10 it takes you anywhere. This is all very well if you get on the right bus. Tight for time, a meeting at 1pm , I get on the wrong one, as soon as I realise I leap off, gt on the right on and as luck would have it – it stops right at The Royal Mile where we unexpectedly take part in the parade to welcome Chris Hoy , conquering Olympic Hero home. Everyone else has been caught up in it too so we start an hour late as if it was all planned. Thanks Chris.

Friday

Meeting with Shona Donaldson at Loch Fyne Oyster Bar during lunch playwright Simon Donald and Scottish Gallery Owner Guy Peploe come in to eat. They are chatting conspiratorially and so when they come up after luncht o say hello we find out why. A few weeks agosomeone asked them – half jokingly – if they would take part in this charity event in which they climb the highest mountains in Scotland, England and Wales one after the other in a 24 hour period and in a moment of madness said yes. Have you been training? I asked. They burst out laughing No. They were off to Tissots to buy kagools, dried food and a tent. They promised an update unless we read about them beforehand in the Papers courtesy of ‘2 daft Scotsmen huddle on moutain begging for lift home shocker’. Good luck to them they are going to need it.
Saturday

Dave’s mobile phone goes off in the middle of the night about 3 times a week – the alarm even goes off if the p hone is switched off! So I am now holding him responsible for the face drooping and the monumental eyebags but I refuse to get jabbed with needles. I don’t like the whole idea of Botox and so I live with my well earned lines whilst keeping an eye out for less invasive miracle anti aging tricks.This weeks discovery is Safetox apparently it works as well as Botox but no jabbing required. I google it only to discover it is a strange blue headband you strap to , yes you guessed it, your head which then twangs an electric current onto your face – they say it can show a reduction of up 83% of wrinkles in 6 weeks. What a disaster that would be I might not get served in bars for being too young!. Yeh right. Still my birthday is coming up…..Dave!