Teenwolf is in Zante – NOW

UnknownHe packed his case 6 hours before he left. He was leaving at 4am so it was just before he fell into a slump.

After he had put in 3 vests, 2 pairs of shorts and some aftershave ( vital obviously)  I stuffed in half a loo roll, some dried apricots, white kit kats, and a medical supply box that would impress  Dr Quinn Medicine Woman.

imagesWipes, bits, stuff for allergies, rehydrators, paracetamol, plasters, mosquito spray.

I recall his first trip away when he was 7 he came back with his toilet bag unopened. Perfect clean folded facecloth, pristine unused soap, toothbrush missing. All clothes folded, and clean – he hadn’t changed his clothes at all.

Yup he left for Zante on Thursday. What I didn’t realise was they were leaving from Glasgow at  6am so had to get there for 4. Herding cats is an over used expression but 16  x 17 & 18 year old boys going off to Zante for the 1st  time free of guidance, nagging, money and bossing of parents is a real cat herding exercise. No shit.


Taking a deep breath and determined to give him his space. I have resisted texting. In return every 2 days I get a two work text from Zante boy.
I am happy. This proves many things.


  1. He realises I am a neurotic old bat
  2. He is coherent enough to text
  3. He has the foresight to charge his mobile
  4. He notices he is not here.

The brief  communications have been as follows.
Day 1. Arrived safe.


Day 3 Apartment dodgy

Day 4 Nothing

Day 5 Need decent food.


Of course I have tried cajoling him. What are you eating? How hot is it? And just before I press send I think. Woah. Stop. Being the stalking woman it is not a good look. So I have refrained.

As I sat tucked up on the couch getting over the 2 week stay of our pals from Australia I flicked through the TV idly. And what did I find?

Inbetweeners Movie.
3 minutes in in I recalled the strict instructions from those who know

‘DO NOT under any cicrcumstances watch the Inbetweeners Movie.’

Too late.


More insomnia – if you wonder if you  can actually have more insomnia and less sleep. I am (zombie like) living proof you can.

The joys of parenthood.

Oh and take it from me. If you are a parent. Do not watch the Inbetweeners Movie. Ever.

If you’re not though do it’s funny as hell.

The Fish People Cafe, Glasgow. WOW.



So there we were through at Scothot sloping around having a look at all new innovations in the catering world at the SECC Glasgow tasting ice creams, olives, talking recycling, talking till systems, bouncing on chairs, nibbling lovely snacks after a few hours our legs were considerably shorter and we were in dire need of a major face stuffing. Yup lunch was looming. Naturally we couldn’t get into the only restaurant at Scothot so I recalled a friend of mine Kirsteen recently raving about a great new place to go.  I texted her. The Fish People Café it’s called she said it is right next to Shields Road Tube station and there is parking right next door. We found it on Scotland Street in the least likely place you can imagine.

The Fish People Café is a literal oasis amidst a busy industrial landscape. Right next door to the fish shop, their fish shop, which you can see is a busy buzzing business with white aproned , welly booted men, But as promised there it stood as if it had landed from another planet. out, really light, modern, warm with tinkling jazz, a very cool bar and a few folk finishing off as we scooted in about 2pm on a Tuesday.


Lunch a 2 course option for £10 was exceptional value but as were on a day out from our fellow restaurant in Edinburgh we went off plan to the a la carte.

Boy oh boy.


We ordered up fresh homemade bread and butter, anchovies in oil and a few olives whilst we ogled the menu. Wow. Could have ordered anything. But seafood won out.

Prawn cocktail.



Mussels with chorizo


Superlative, fresh, plump, delicious, fill in your own favourite adjective here – it will fit this food. Yumola.

Main courses.

Hand dived Scallops 6 ginormous of the juicy, plumpacious delights with a pile of fresh salad leaves with the most delicious fresh dressing with a spritz of lime. Of course we had a side order of chips – hand cut and fried to perfection. A side salad with yet another fresh and unique dressing.
J, one of our number ordered up a baby poussin and chips and S a whole Tandooried seabass. Be still my beating heart.  At this point no more food pics because frankly I was far too excited and enjoying it too much!

Its not often you get 5 foodies round a table who just grinned at each other.We were in the presence of genius.

Location. Idea. Presentation. The unexpected brilliance of this tucked away wee gem.

I had to leave a scallop and a half I was so full. I do not have a small appetite but honestly I did.  The others didn’t hold back and swooped them up so this Aberdonian could rest easy.

Then came the option of sweet.  Could we? Should we? Well we couldn’t and we definitely shouldn’t but we did. Same words of description and joy apply. Mmmmmmmn.

To top off our top foodie delighst our waiter was a charming smiley guy – ‘How long have you been open?’

“ 5 months. In fact this time 5 months ago I was a fishmonger – there” he said pointing next door” but when I heard about the restaurant I thought aye,  I’ll go and work there it’s warmer.”

He’s found his calling. So has the chef. So have I to sit there regularly and wonder at the freshest most delicious fish in town.


The Fish People Cafe.

Shields Road Subway Station
350 Scotland Street
G5 8QF.

Tel 0141 429 8787

Open all day from mid-day til 9 week days, 10 weekends and 4 on a Sunday.  Now…..over to you….but you better book because this place will be the hottest ticket in town.















97.5% of Scots are unhealthy! Says who?


Och Aye the Noo

‘Scottish people are putting their lives at risk with an unhealthy lifestyle of heavy smoking, high alcohol intake and poor diet, health experts warned on Friday.

Scientists looked at five major risk factor to determine the general health of the Scottish population — smoking, heavy alcohol consumption, poor diet, physical inactivity and being overweight.They found that nearly the whole adult population (97.5%) fell into at least one of those categories, the experts wrote in the online journal BMC Public Health.’

Bullshit. Glasgow University have come up with this outrageous stastic how exactly? Line up 100 people you know, have met, work with and there is no way on earth 97% of them are unhealthy.

So it seems  we are still  deep fried Mars Bar scoffing,  low slung, wheezing, haggis eating, kilted, boozers aka yer stereotypical Scot. And the results of this ill thought out and badly executed survey are going to do little to strengthen the reputation of us throughout the wider world. When I read it I was spitting feathers – not deep frying and eating them just spitting them.

Pass the remote

Hills, lochs, rivers, endless joggers, marathons, football, shinty, rugby, curling, badminton, squash, cricket, gymnastics, 5k’s, 10k’s, skiing, water skiing, walking, climbing, canoeing, surfing, riding, tennis – oh what’s his name again ? Yup Andy Murray. Cycling – em…….blonde geezer from Edinburgh, cute, recently married, nae oer bad on a bike? Yup Sir Chris Hoy. There are numerous world class atheletes who come from Scotland BUT the way this survey has been published will make the outside world believe everyone in  our towns, cities and rural areas (bar 3%) are lying fat on a couch with the remote control and a packet of fags in one hand, whilst swiggin’ Buckfast from the bottle and waiting for delivery 29″ meat feast pizza with extra chilli fries  to arrive. 

Breakfast in the Average Scottish household - apparently.

Hell what are we going to do when the Commonwealth Games open in Glasgow?  With 97.5% of us so unhealthy surely no-one will fit through the door of the stadium to welcome the international athletes. And competitors ? Well if there is a deep fried cheese and meat eating competition we are a shoe in for the gold.

 The worst of it is, this survey came out of the  University of Glasgow who supposedly surveyed 6500 people. Did they survey 10 and just photocopy of the results do you think? There is something far wrong with this and for anyone who wants life insurance with a Scottish address they should be made to retract this work of fiction fast.

Laugh? I nearly passed my fags round twice.

Sex In The City 2 ? Nope. Wrecks In the City too.

Like to see this lot after a few pints in Glasgow

Never mind Sarah Jessica Parker et al. The girls and I hit Glasgow yesterday for lunch at  Blythswood Square. Departing Edinburgh it was about 25 degrees, blasting sunshine and we were in high spirits. 3 on at Waverley, 2 Haymarket, 1 Linlithgow all present and correct off we sped  west for a carry on.

Toasty hot we decided stootering about in hee hiles would end in an early injury so we leapt into a cab. As we got out the poor taxi driver was grabbed and asked to take a photo of us – we thought it would be good to get one before the inevitable collapse of style, grace and mascara. Perched on the steps half of us with our chins up, the other  half with chins down he clicked the camera.  Thanks! I shouted ‘miss your column in The Sunday Mail ‘ he shouted. Och thanks I said waving and following the rest of them  heading  gaggingly fast towards the bar.

High stools, round tables and a fabulous cocktail list. Happy Harriets. French Martini – had two. Had too! Lunch 3 courses for £20 – wine, prosecco, coffee and a lot of high jinx. The place was jumping. Afterwards Jane Thomson showed us round including the private viewing room. You can see it here complete with it’s Harris Tweed seats.
 It’s  WOW from top to toe. The whole place, in the old RAC building has scrubbed up beautifully,  with interior by  Graven Images it looks and feels opulent, modern and special. Unlike us who by this point were feeling full,  half cut and fat.  When the spa opens we’ll be back for an overnight sensation we shouted at the rather alarmed looking staff.

By the time we’d finished our tour one of our number was asleep in the gardens across the road as the rest of us stumbled out into the sun and flagged down another taxi, back to the station.

‘There’s a train in 5 minutes shouted Dynamite ‘ as head down we ran for the ticket barrier. After we got thrown off the train to Dunblane we leapt off and found the right one with seconds to spare. The guard ushered us on. We did a head count. One of us was missing. ‘We have to get off!’ You can’t said the guard we’re leaving NOW.

Standing, sweaty and confused we phoned our lost member Kim. Where are you?
I bought a Big Issue it took me 10 seconds and when I looked up you had all gone.

Sorry we cried in unison. It’s Ok I was fed up of the lot of you anyway.

That’s why we love her.

Like looking in a mirror

Home to bucketing rain. No jackets, high heels and linen ensured I arrived home looking like Alice Cooper in a dress.
Look at the state of you said the long suffering husband.

I’m sober! I objected.

Yeh right he said eyeing up the sodden streaky slapper that stood before him.

If I was a black belt Ninja he’d have been in big trouble. But I’m not so I just squelched past in high dudgeon enroute to a hot shower, fresh clothes and a large gin. Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.