Light blue touch paper and retire

So throwing a party. It’s always a buttock clencher. Will anyone turn up? If they do will they enjoy it? Is there enough food? Drink? Music? Jollifications? Well in this case it seems that’s a yes.

It started at 6.30pm on the dot and went off like a rocket. Over 150 people at one point all talking, laughing, drinking, eating, singing, dancing. The local craft brewery 6 Degrees North set up a bar to let people taste their wares – which was delicious. We poured white wine, red wine, prosecco, beer and whatever else the heart desired.

There was a rumour of a soft drink being served but we don’t have proof.

Water. Rumoured to have been seen but not consumed.
Water. Rumoured to have been seen but not consumed. (from wiseGREEK)
Mmn a pint of your foaming ale young man
Mmn a pint of your foaming ale young man

The fa’s fa of Aberdeen were out in force.

The instruction was ‘keep the glasses topped up’ and that was the theme of the night.
This is gauged by the fact I was giving the band (sorry) who were fabulous – Chris Bradley and his co-hort Austin – talented buggers – some unsolicited backing vocals and beginning to whirl people round in a centrifugal force sort of way when the long suffering husband recognised the signs of imminent badness and oxtered me into a friends car.

Making a run for it after appalling unwanted accompaniment
Making a run for it after appalling unwanted accompaniment

David said it was like having a 3 year old in the back of the car as I lay flat in the backseat refusing to put on my belt ignoring his pleas to ‘wise up’. It was not until the driver Rachel said “If I slam on the brakes you will fly through to the front and kill me” which made me sit bolt upright and behave instantly. She is from Ireland and I love her voice so her wish was my command.
Back to our hotel Malmaison (sorry) – where we stayed on an amazing ITISON deal and though I had a canapé or 6 I needed something to soak up the belly of booze so room service was order of the day. Just a tip scoffing a burger lying horizontal is not advised for a 50 year old woman. Of all ages I should be more than aware of the effects of gravity as I was instantly when I awoke this morning and  was concerned I had killed the long suffering husband as all I saw was red splatters and meaty nodules. I was in the set from CSI Miami. My burger had hit the duvet and hard.

I can't tell is that burger or husband?
I can’t tell is that burger or husband?

Mortified I have written a note of apology to the hotel and am on the wagon. Forever. Ish. I blame dress stress and worrying no-one would turn up. But you know the most shame making thing of all – I was in bed juggling my burger by 10pm Hardly hard core party girl these days. However others exploits put mine in the shade the details of will eek out on this blog. But that is enough for now. I shall leave fellow attendees wondering if it is their story that will be told. Guffaw.

  • The joy of radio – with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp – as long as you sound coherent you can fool folk you look like a supermodel avoiding the truth of resembling an extra from Dr Who.

  • Alan Cameron

    Nae the quinne, who while at NorthSound, could party till the wee sma hours and still turn up looking amazing at work later as if she had only been drinking WATER!!!!!!!!!!!