Why anyone would like to travel with the mouthy slapper on the left who knows - but lucky for me they do! We're off!

Why anyone would like to travel with the mouthy slapper on the left who knows – but lucky for me they do! We’re off!

Day one

When you get walloped with bad health you lie still looking at the ceiling thinking what will I do  if I ever get out of here? Go to Borneo to see orangutangs in the wild  was first on my mind. I have never seen them and I’ve been talking out its since I was 12. Unfortunately my particular lurgy was lung related so I can’t fly. I  confess in the aftermath of my health scare when I received this news it was with mixed feelings. Bummer I can’t fly. Closely followed by ‘Whoopee I can’t fly!’ as I have always hated it anyway.  Of course everyone I know flies everywhere they go. It’s fast, safe and cheap. So as recovery trudged on for months and months, so did my thoughts of sunshine. I have to get away. Its been over a year I need vitamin D and hot UV heat and light on my bones and my bluey white skin I am not asking much just enough to start reaching a normal Scottish pinky colour.


So with my 81 year old mum one day I spat it out.

‘I want to go somewhere hot.’

‘So do I’ piped up mum.

‘Well it’ll have to be train, boat, bus, bike and Shanks pony’ I said pulling no punches

‘Fine’ she said not bothered at all. ‘I’m game’.

So the idea was born 2 weeks ago.

The challenge? To get to sunny Spain to have a holiday without taking off.

Eurotunnel is the obvious choice but of course…but I can’t do that either! Something to do with the pressure change. So let’s google boats. Lordy…..a grand tour.

But first let me tell you about our 3rd member of the  tour. Geordie El. She also hates the flying machine and we have talked about going on a Thelma and Louise style trip together for 22 year –(22 years!?  yes we have known each other since  before we were born).  She dramatically broke her back sledging two years ago so has also been in that prone staring at the ceiling contemplating life position. She is now up and about but cant lift stuff. I can’t lift stuff. Mum can’t lift stuff. So here we are. Three non lifting, hurpling dafties are off.

The team is complete. Step one…… train to Newcastle……. Look who’s in the same compartment when we arrive? Only our best pal Fraser on his way South to do Underbelly Business….and his constant and considerably more intelligent companion Issy. As you can see we love Issy. The most laid back dog in the known world. We love Fraser too but only because he looks after Issy or is it the other way round?


Fraser Smith and his wing dog Issy.

Fraser Smith and his wing dog Issy.

Being married to a restaurateur he does not  like to think of us on tour without food and drink so he wrapped something in a dishtowel and handed to  Ellie before we got on the train and lo and behold we started with a toast to us and our overland adventures


The eyeball

The eyeball give me a drink – NOW

…well we’re off….Excitement of the overnight ferry coming up mañana……

Izzy - the perfect travelling companion

Izzy – the perfect travelling companion

  • JeanDunsmore

    have a wonderful holiday, relax enjoy and do everything at your own pace and have a safe journey good luck and have a ball

  • George Peacock

    Have an adventure. Not sure Thelma and Louise though is a good model. Save one of them bagging off with B Pitt, they had an unfortunate exp in a car park, shot someone and took a wrong turn over a cliff pursued by the rozzers. Why not try the comparison to “Three men in a boat”, as seems a boat will feature. Will certainly be watching your progress. Lots of love.

  • Aly

    Hope you all have a super time! xx

  • Jacqui

    so looking forward to watching how your girls trip progresses… I expect a lot of lovely food and drink to be consumed, and plenty chit chat.. have a great time ladies

  • KatieVonney of the Highlands

    Alison, Pat and El, So you’ve actually flown the coup without taking off. Thats marvellous. And of course Pat looks like Judi Dench, but finer. I knew she reminded me of someone! Wish we were there. Keep us posted.

  • Genali MD

    Fraser looks positively terrified! Have a great Thelma, Louise +1 trip, sorry not to be your +2 …enjoy, I know you will. Jennyx

  • Kerry Teakle

    Am going to enjoy following this. Have fun. It also reminds me of a book I once read – which is well worth a read – A Fortune Teller Told me – Earthbound travels in the Far East – well worth a read!

    I found this whilst I was googling the title of the book too – thought you may be interested –

  • Alison Cairns

    Looking forward to following your adventures on this trip!

  • Agnes Wilkie

    ALISON -are you really in Newcastle???? Please come visit at my new ‘home’ – the fabulous BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art…anytime…champagne included! xxxx

  • RuthHP

    Ha, ha! Fabulous. Can’t believe you bumped into Fraser! Have a wonderful time xxx