Scientists discover they can turn back the clock. Prepare to smile without the aid of botox.

Clearly this chap needs some attention - bless his wee droopy ear.

The dramatic weather has knocked every other story in the world off the front pages which must be  the reason why a story published  in The Guardian this week slipped under the wire. Get this! Apparently scientists have finally found the elixir of life, a way to stop us from aging – in fact even better than that – away to turn back the clock. No I am not lying . In fact I am standing up waving a flag and shouting get me a packet of fags, a bottle

3 cheery chubsters and no wonder they are laughing

of gin and a half hundred weight of red meat I am going to live forever.

So what the hell am I on about?

Well scientists at Harvard University  have regenerated – yes regenerated! – the organs of aging mice.  ‘What we saw in these animals was not a slowing down or stabilisation of the ageing process. We saw a dramatic reversal – and that was

Botox? I think so.

unexpected” said Ronald DePinho who led the study which was published in Nature magazine.

What will not be unexpected is the long line of human crinkly faces queuing at Ronald’s door begging not to be mice but guinea pigs. I will be a large short legged Aberdonian one.

As Irene Cara sang ‘ I’m going live forever, I’m going to learn how to fly’ well obviously the flying is still a bit away but if we live forever there is chance we could do that too. So is this it? Well obviously it’s complicated and I can say that from the most knowledgeable position of being a freelance loafer abouter. But let the

Wearing a Don's scarf to fool them into thinking I am a real mouse. Quite convincing I thought.

scientists deal  with the nodules, and wibbly bits – just get me the drugs and fast!

Happy to report I have just got myself a giant mouse suit and am off to see if I can slip in under the wire.

Of course it could be argued we have never seen a mouse with crows feet, a grumpy facial line or two? I mean look at Minnie for heaven’s sake? Line free at  80 odd she always  seems they have always had the elixir of life. Of course she is a cartoon and checking out the grungy old hairball at the top of this blog leaves us in no doubt rodents wrinkle too.

None of this is nonsense by the way it is all true – you can read the article here.