Dogs or cats? You really have to ask? Why DOGS of course ! Bring them on. I love them Whatever the size, shape, whether curly, sleek, pretty, hideous, waggy, confident or shy bundle them up and bring them over.
This week my pal Jackie got a cocker spaniel puppy Toby– just look at him! He is adorable. The second I put my handbag on the floor he got into it! But as you can see he was soon exhausted with trying to open my purse – need I remind you I am from Aberdeen. It hasn’t been opened without a hammer and chisel since 1986.
Another pal then got 2 English setter pups Hector and Hugo. The little bendy brothers are floppy and delightful. Hugo it turns out is the over zealous one so is now titled Hugo Boss – he’s the one with the black ear.
Pal Yvonne her Jack Russell just had 3 pups – small and perfectly formed. How are your canine hormones doing? Raging? Mine too.
Controlling myself as best I could not to stuff one or all of them into my bag and just run away off I was stumbling through Inverleith Park the other day when a grin appeared on my face watching a low slung black beauty meandering along towards me.
What is he? I asked the equally pleased looking owner.
Half Labrador – half basset.
No – the bitch had 8 pups and they were all completely different.
I kicked myself for not having my camera on me for the 1st time in years.
But after a few calls it seems crossbreeds are no longer mongrels but have developed breed names. The funniest ones I have heard thus far are….
A Sprollie – A Spaniel crossed with a collie interestingly known as a Spanolly in Aberdeen. So already regional differences here.
A Swetty – A Scottie crossed with a Westie
A Labradoodle – the now famous Labrador/Poodle
A Sprocker – cocker/spring spaniel cross
Sprussell – Spaniel/Jack Russell
A Jack a poo –Jack Russell /poodle
A Golden doodle do -golden retriever/poodle
A Daniff – Great Dane/Bull Mastiff
Basschund – Basset/Daschound
Bogel – half beagle/ half boxer – for any nostril digging boys in your life.
Chestie – Chihuahua/Westie – perhaps the perfect dog for Jordan.
Chug – chihuahua/pug – A CHUG! If I told you what that meant in the north east you’d laugh like a drain.
Flandoodle – poodle/bouvier des flandres – for the phantom flan flinger or in his absence Nigella?
Giant schnoodle – poodle/giant schnauzer – over to Daniel Craig and your imagination.
Gollie golden retriver/collie – for someone who exclaims f*** alot! Golly!
A Poo-shi – poodle/shiba inu one for any of my pals though spellt slightly differently – pushy.
A Bugg – Boston Terrier /Pug – too many suggestions but maybe for the editor of The New Of The World
A Poxer – pugg/boxer – a well you’d have to get the names from the STD clinic for this one.
Rat-a-pap -a rat terrier/papillon – Maybe for the local vermin killer rat up your drainpipe – call rat-a-pap.
Snorkie – Yorkie & Schnauzer – one of the banana splits. No that wasn’t snorkie but snork but they were great weren’t they?
Beakle – Beagle/Cocker – A muppet?
The Bassador – Basset/Labrador – Put his bed near the door and it could be The Bassadors reception and you could serve Ferrer Rocher.
Jack Russell crossed with a Shizhu – A Jack Shit. Yeh Ok made that one up too but what a brilliant name for a dog. Set the scene. Interested dog lover approaches you and points at the hairy wee ball on the end of the lead. What’s that ? She enquires gently. Jack shit.
It must be done.
Now I can’t get The Banana Splits out of my head – take it away. Over to snork.