AA Gill assassinates us Scots again. Gggrrrrr.

If he squats in a bush like this in Scotland someone will shoot him - me?

About to slide into a Sunday night slumber, reclining in the bath I had been dreaming of since getting up this morning I turned to AA Gills food review in the Style Section of The Sunday Times.

The House of Bruar on the A9 was his destination and it seems he liked what he ate.I have no issue with that. What I do have issue with is the ignorant and blatant assassination of the Scots as a nation in terms of what we eat and how we eat it. This man left Scotland a long long time ago and that is where his reality lies. In the past.

I haven’t heard so many generalisations since I read the reviews for AA Gills first  book  ‘Sap Rising’ – in a nutshell ‘a load of shite’.

Insisting in swapping any real facts of the food us Scots buy, prepare and eat these days he makes the old cliched pops at the food.

No. 1 in the hit parade the last time AA Gill spent any time here.

‘Why Caledonian catering is not merely as bad as it is, but as bad as it can willfully manage, is a mystery. But still Scots eat more pitifully, poorly and suicidally than anybody else in the world who has a choice.’

AA Gill claims to be a Scot which presumably is why he speaks his own culinary Gaelic. Namely a language that died long ago, an extinct, if not endangered vocabulary of pies, and pasties, deep fried Mars Bars and fried eggs, and ‘those shrunken menopausal pies with their withered gum of pale pasty and the nameless, scatological gore of their dank fillings’. When was the last time he wrapped his Harley Street straightened and whitened teeth and overpink gums into a Scotch Pie? 1978? It is harder to find a pie packed with rubbery nodules these days than one that is moist, meaty, unctious whether it’s made of beef, lamb or venison. But that wouldn’t make such pithy copy.

AA Gill is a brilliant wordsmith but to dip into our culture and country so seldom and yet feel he is qualified to spew forth with any authority whatsoever is typical of his ego, the size of Peru.

John Cleese demonstrating Upper Class Twit of The Year not that I'm saying anything.

So he deigned to pop into House Of Bruar no doubt on his way to some roaring open fired mansion in the country to congregate with Tweed wearing, marble mouthed, Southern dwellers catered by a professional chef to kill animals and cock a snook at the locals and Scotland in general. Out of your Ivory Tower Gill, away from your rarified life and into the real world I challenge you to lay down your prejudice and see Scotland the way it is not the way you remember it.

Whatever abuse Mr Gills gut suffered as a child has prevented him from opening his hooded eyes to the fact that Scotland, the Scotland of his nightmares and distant past is long dead, along with our record of having the highest rate of heart disease in the world.

Give me 48 hours I’ll change your mind.

  • Come on then. Where?

  • Jimmy Page

    Couldnt agree more-but with AA Gill!

    I have had many a memorable meal in Scotland in the last 20 years.Memorable inasmuch as they were mostly awful and over-priced with surly service to boot across the whole spectrum of big city fine dining to whatever passes for sophisticated cafe culture.

  • Makes your blood boil doesn't it?

  • Marylamarmion

    What can I add when everyone else has said it all he must be eating in the wrong establishments. People like him haven't a clue its time he came out of his ivory tower and joined the rest of us in having fantastic food from all over Scotland

  • kath26

    And I'm not biased, I'm Welsh! (Husbands from Edinburgh though!)

  • Ms Jen

    He has homogenized himself with the rest of his elitist Sunday Times Readership…above it all, disconnected from their cultural roots which keep egos in check when they over inflate, Social Darwinism at its worst I am afraid.

  • Just as well if he was in Edinburgh tonight he'd have an angry hoard in his garden. I said hoard.

  • Great. Off to your blog.

  • GP

    No doubt his audience was the Blue Rinsed Home counties brigade who love harking back to the past. Scotland has come a long long way. e.g. Pavement Cafes in Glasgow – if you had forecast it 20 years ago you would have been regarded as mad. Our major cities and the many country house restaurants that now abound are testament to the quality of scottish cuisine. Still I guess it must be easier to restate now out of date prejudices to get some cheap laughs from an audience that lives somewhere else.
    BTW Really enjoyed Barrycoutts comments, bit also illustrates the other side that Scots do at almost every opportunity love taking a pot shot at the English. Maybe we should not be surprised when it comes back the other way. Also had no idea this man claimed to be Scottish – he must have left both physically and mentally a long long time ago.

  • Skelptarse

    I have been alerted to your blog via twitter and @duffwilma who shares your disdain for this charlatan of a “Scot”. I run a website and twitter account call Skelpt Arse and @duffwilma asked me to give AA Gill a right good stinger of a #skelptarse. Having read your blog I can say he deserves a #skelptarse in measures that would leave him with an a belisha beacon coloured arse of which a monkey could be proud!


  • Yeh!!!!!!! Couldn't agree more.

  • I won't have been humble pie of that we can be certain

  • Bethbriggs

    maybe he had verbal diahorrea,could it have been something he ate?

  • Carol_craig05

    Cheeky B*stard!…thats wot I say Alison x

  • kath26

    The guys an idiot, I've always thought that. Along with the fact he has a face you would never tire of punching, he is a lazy journalist. It's easy to mock people and churn out stereotypical comments about things you feel are beneath you. Scots food is wonderful. We've just spent a week on Orkney and had the freshest seafood and game you can imagine. Was it too much hard work to go out amongst the 'great unwashed' and see how superb and diverse Scottish food can be? (By the way Mr.Gill, if you go to a chippy you will generally find things are deep fried, that actually happens in London too).

    I guess he's feeling pretty pleased with himself at the moment, having a pop at the 'savages' north of the border. Scots cuisine and Scots people are more forward thinking and cultured than that pampered old cynic will ever know, it's a shame he's so far up his own backside to notice.

  • Karendawson

    Clearly he's never sampled the local food in various English stations, airports or large conurbations around Manchester, Birmingham and Liverpool. I lived in Grimsby for a couple of years and their idea of haute cuisine was having a pickled egg with yer chips. Mind you, I don't think he realises that everywhere outside the home counties isn't actually Scotland.
    Like many a smart-arse, he is more interested in sounding clever than being honest.

  • Laughed out loud at that one. And its Monday morning so it must be good. Al x

  • Barryrcoutts

    That's why jokes keep coming up like, the Englishman who was walkking through the country side one day and notices a guy on his knees trying to get a drink out of the local burn, the farmer shouts, ” Jings min fit the heill ye daen, at bloody water is full o cows shite and dreechin ither animals”, the englishman stands up and shouts ” mY good man i'm sorry i don't understand what your saying, I'm English” to which the farmer replies “I'm saying use both hands and that way you'll get more in easier.

  • Susie

    Hear, hear, Alison! I generally love reading AA Gill's reviews but was not especially chuffed today to read this. We live in Tillicoultry and are spoiled for good quality places to eat out nearby.

    House of Bruar is as far removed from real life as Gill is.

  • Stay

    Here here!

    Wouldn't be seen dead in a country mansion with open fires and private chef specially if killing things were involved!

    AA and his cronies really needs to open his eyes and accept that there is more to life than london and the south east (note no capitals)

    Basic point : Pies are fantastic check out Mhor Food, Callander