Last minute lottery stuff as usual. On the eve of school going back.
Digging out the school breeks – they have holes in them. Where did these holes come from? Dunno.
What do you mean dunno? it looks like someone cut holes in them with scissors.
OK whilst we are at it where are your school shoes?
Find them then. They are produced scruffy, scuffed but polishable on the top side and then I flipped them over and realised there are hole in the soles. HOLES! Holy breeks and holy shoes. Holy shit I shout we are going out to get you sorted.
So breeks on board we hit the shoe shops. We end up in Top Man. TOP MAN! I used to be made to wear Clark Startrites and then horrific lace up horors until I left scohol. Yeh but that was the olden days came the mumbled reply.
So he has slip ons. Very Jason King. Black slip ons. And new black hole-free trousers there is just one thing missing – well two if you count the absence of a sane mother – I haven’t actually seen his face for about 2 months. Hair.
So I drop him at the Barber. He comes home later. Let’s see your hair then. I command. We meet in the hall and yes he has had his hair cut. The one on the left hand side. So after a rather heated discussion during which I was informed I was lame, unfair and 112 he’s going back tomorrow for every other hair on his head to be cut to match it.